DISILLUSION - Prepare for Revival

Moosemouse on December 11, 2014 at 5:51 am

I was one of those schmucks who took Catholic teachings seriously, hook, line, and sinker until I was nineteen or twenty and met my boyfriend of about a year and a half at the U of Maine. He was having his own crisis of faith and he practiced his new-found thoughts by discussing them with me. Ironically, I left the faith and he eventually became a priest, for pity’s sake. That was more than 40 years ago. I say I left the faith, but it didn’t really leave me until recent years. I became depressive and obsessive compulsive, and I created my own private hell. I joined a Unitarian Universalist Church, whose liberal ways helped to release me from my dungeon. I even identified as a pagan for a while.

With the rise of atheism helping me along (books, articles, TV shows), I can say I’m just about free at the ripe old age of 64. Cathlolicism is full of some pretty scary shit. Imagine a little girl doing the “Stations of the Cross” during which one had to beat yourself on your chest three times in a row (not really hard) and say Jesus died “through my fault, my fault, my most grievous fault. That, and all the hell talk and oh! confession…..does things to the old psyche. And I wasn’t even molested.

Last thing, why do people believe that God is this so all powerful, and all loving higher for their
lives, but not for others. Yeah, he saved that little child under the rubble in a natural disaster, but he let the whole rest of the town die? Or let’s raging illnesses take people? Or doesn’t stop people from torturing one another? He helps YOU find your car keys or get that loan, he can’t stop white policemen from killing black people. I guess whatever floats your boat, floats your boat. Just don’t try to force it on me and little innocent kids. I still say you are just mumbling to
to an imaginary friend, and ultimately yoursef

Caldera on December 11, 2014 at 2:57 am

Of course people let us down. The real disillusion of it all is getting let down in the first place.

K on December 6, 2014 at 12:33 am

Disillusion… As a child I has always thought that only bad things happen to bad people. And good things happen to good people. Therefore when I was molested several times as a child I believed I was ‘bad’. After being let down by the adults in my life, and the law. He didn’t hurt me again after I sought help from a teacher, the police and social services. The pain I felt for years did not surpass. I became withdrawn, remained confused as to why it happen to me. As the years moved on I began to see things differently, through the eyes of a young adult. And the W’s began. Why did this happen? Why was I not kept safe? Why would someone do this? Why can I not forget? Why am I still hurting. With the pain still within me I suffered from mental health problems, and still now to this day. However over the course of 25 years now I have found faith in me, to be strong, to live and to move onwards. And I know now, it was not my fault, and I am not a bad person. I do slip some times and forget that it happened to me, somewhat disillusioned, I don’t feel normal, I feel that shadow lurking overhead. But I know now that it passes and each time the dullness gets shorter and shorter and I get back to feeling like me again. the trigger usually is horror in the news of abused children. I feel physical pain. I try to hold back tears. I pray for these children to have good future and a good life. But I know the road won’t be easy for them. There are people who are too rightly shocked say ”poor children, what kind of monster could do that?”. But there are also people and these are the people are the ones who I have lost faith in. Have they forgotten that these children grow up, usually with mental health issues as a result of what happened? Now take a minute to think this through. People add to the created stigma surrounding mental health issues. The ones who tend to come out with ”Oh why do you have anxiety? What a freak. What makes you so depressed? You just overthink things too much that’s your problem. Don’t be silly. Why are you so sensitive? Get over it. Your a bit strange aren’t you?” etc… If these people could only see the hidden links that form mental health problems. But most importantly remember for example that their co-worker or friend that is sometimes a little withdrawn, has anxiety attacks etc. Is like that for a reason. they do not need to ever disclose the reason if they choose not to. They have undoubtedly fought hard to be where they are today, the person they are. They have achievements. The road they travelled on was long and the journey was far from easy. Maybe so they are still healing, still travelling on that road to freedom? So that’s is why I have lost faith in some people, the people who dish out some kind of empathy from one hand and from the other, err well some kind of hypocrisy.

Anonymous on December 1, 2014 at 9:31 am

There are many types of addictions, I have overcome several, fortunate for me. I often think now when seeing people with severe addictions (and I see plenty in my line of work being a nurse.) At what point do they look at themselves realize they have a problem and decide to ignore it. I believe that to break an addiction you have to look at the Amygdala it is a vicious monster who loves to keep bad habits, thoughts and feelings coming back.

Anonymous on December 1, 2014 at 9:20 am

I have learned that it is our expectations that disillusion us. We expect people to behave in certain ways and when they don’t we often become disillusioned with them and life. I often hear of people angry with “God” because when life was rough or they experienced a tragedy they expected him to show up and fix things. I never met God in my life, I never had a conversation with him in good or bad times.

Angelina on November 23, 2014 at 9:48 pm

A few years ago I felt God had let me down, it wasn’t until sometime later I realized that it was not God that let me down, but it was I, who put a man in place of God in my life that I was let down. A man I had spent nine years of my life with, started a family with, just decided he had had enough and with a new education, a new woman, walked out on his family. His parting words? “God said its time to focus on my happiness” I was angry and lost for a long time because of that statement. Because I did not know God I took what me ex-boyfriend said as truth, and I spent time thinking God did not love me and had turned his back on me and my kids. Now, over three years later, I know better, I know God better. And the most valuable lesson I have learned is this, that when we think God has deserted us, turned his back on us, we need to look deeper and tenaciously pursue God because what you will find is the truth he wants you to know.

Gayle G on November 20, 2014 at 7:01 am

I was always taught that if you work hard you would be taken care of by people, businesses and society, however, I realize now that that’s not true. After working most of my life, I was let down by my company. They changed their image and I didn’t fit it so I had to go. It hurt because I put myself second to my work and then I was too old, but not old enough to retire.

pn on November 19, 2014 at 1:48 am

I do not trust anyone completely except God. I really don’t have faith in other people when it comes to important things about me and my needs. I have faith in myself and God.

YY on November 18, 2014 at 10:11 pm

I stopped having Faith so young it’s hard to pinpoint exactly when but I could not look at the world and everything happening in it and reconcile that with what I was being taught at church. I must have been 9 or so. It’s been an interesting evolution ever since.

Anonymous on November 18, 2014 at 6:18 pm

On the day my neurologist told me that I had multiple sclerosis, my Dad would not take off from his job as a greeter at Walmart to go with me.

Anonymous on November 18, 2014 at 4:02 am

I am the child of a preacher who was a member of a Protestant Christian church in the Wesleyan-Holiness tradition. Wesleyan-Holiness tradition, in reality, meant an evangelical fundamentalist zealot.

When I was a child, I remember my father preaching a sermon about the Second Coming of Christ and the time of the Great Tribulation (see the Book of Daniel and Revelation). He stood at the pulpit, tears streaming down his face, hoarsely shouting that the Devil would seek to deceive or force Believers into denying Christ. My father said, “even if they [the followers of the Antichrist] put guns to my children’s heads and told me to deny Christ, I would not, I could not.” I remember feeling like shit every time my father preached that sermon. Fortunately, he couldn’t preach it more than once in whatever church he was currently pastoring because that shit gets old after awhile. Plus the tears can only be faked so much before the church members start to disbelieve.

Now, years later and a parent myself, I think back to my father saying it with feelings of horror and disgust. As a parent, I would never say such a thing or any kind of similar thing to my children. It is a horrible thing to feel that your parents won’t keep you safe if it came to a choice between their unseen god and you, their blood. This is just one of many, many examples of how my father’s faith and my father let me down.

Anonymous on November 17, 2014 at 4:36 am

I have often been let down with my faith in people. Sooner or later some people become very undependable. This is when the faith is let go and people are let down. As far as a higher power there was only disappointment when a prayer wasn’t answered however, this just means not meant for that to happen.

Anonymous on November 16, 2014 at 10:19 pm

After I was diagnosed with cancer, stage 3, I went through a long bout of disillusionment. For several years (even after being pronounced “cured” of the cancer), I couldn’t pray or practice any kind of religion or spirituality. Now, 8 years after the cancer diagnosis, my faith is back. My faith is far stronger now than I ever thought possible.

Anonymous on November 16, 2014 at 1:20 am

When I was a child, I thought my mother was perfect and would always be there for me, as children tend to do. But when my father left her she started going out and staying out all night, sleeping with many different men and forgetting about us kids. Then she remarried, and never gave any thought to us at all. My brother was selling drugs out of the house, I stopped going to school and became one of his best customers, and my sister left college and married someone she didn’t love – just to get out of the house. My step-father was a drunk who was verbally and emotionally abusive, and my mom saw this and just let it continue. They finally divorced when she caught him with another woman. When they married, I was 16; when they divorced, 22. I am 46 now and it still makes me want to shake my mother when I think about it. We are on very good terms, and talk to each other daily on the phone, but I will never forgive her for what she let me go through when I was a kid.

Never.

Robyn on November 15, 2014 at 10:34 pm

Disillusion is when reality is exposed. We, as humans, out expectations on others and on situations…when those expectations are repeatedly not met, we become disillusioned and often blame the other person or situation, when we should bless ourselves for putting up false expectations to begin with.

Maude on November 14, 2014 at 10:09 pm

It’s with stark terror to be a kid; and realizing that The Adults/parents really DONT have their “shit together”.

CWA on November 14, 2014 at 1:40 pm

Parents – are they ever what we want them to be? I grew up in a sexually abusive home, with a mother that refused to see what was happening. At one point I went to foster care. I remember watching the Brady Bunch as a child and thinking “Why can’t we be like that?”. I soooo wanted to be the Brady Bunch family….. then you grow up and your eyes are opened to the ugliness that the world has to offer and realize that maybe there is no real Brady Bunch…. That’s a Hollywood misconception of the perfect family….. when we are actually all disillusioned in thinking that the perfect family even exists. They don’t. I just hold out hope that most are better than the one I grew up in. The loss of childhood innocence is half of what is wrong with the world today.

SDM on November 14, 2014 at 1:47 am

I get disillusioned with people. They are never what they seem. There is a dark side to every person I’ve ever met, some more than others, but it is always there. I’d really love to meet just one happy, well adjusted person, but I really don’t expect to find that person, so, I’ve become disillusioned and stopped looking.

Anonymous on November 13, 2014 at 4:29 pm

I had put all my faith in a loved one, only to be abused for my trust and love in this person. This disillusion did however make me a much stronger person.

Jennifer on November 12, 2014 at 11:49 am

I would have to write a book for this one. Basically, my mother in her 70s lost her faith after my grandmother, a devout Irish Catholic, was murdered in the 70s in East St. Louis. I was much younger and lost it merely by attending Catholic school.

Anonymous on November 11, 2014 at 8:40 pm

I have been disappointed in myself. I was supposed to be really smart, could of fooled me; I was supposed to be a member in a church but had impure thoughts about other members and can’t really see myself in a religious way. I have illnesses which make it hard to do anything, take any kind of initiative cause when I do I mess things up. Accepting myself is very hard. My sister for all of her sweetness sided against me in an important family matter and what I had done was belittled. When mom died sis swooped in and took everything that had any meaning in our family before anyone else could even blink an eye. Hard to accept that my dad wasn’t the great all knowing person I thought, he stayed clear of me and I feel disillusioned about his influence in my life. I guess I can say that I am disillusioned with my family; they just aren’t the people I thought they were.

Anonymous on November 11, 2014 at 12:31 pm

On occasion I have put a loved one so high on a pedestal that they were bound to fall. That was my fault. I wanted so badly to believe that they could do no wrong and in turn when I felt unsure I could always turn to them for the correct answer. To do this a selfish act and not fair to the person on the pedestal that I created.
Family members have let me down in the past and I have not talked to any of them for 17 years or more. In these cases (and it took awhile) I have allowed myself to realize that it was not personal the pain they caused. The individuals were already broken and I just happened to be there. Looking at it from this point of view allows any anger or resentment to dissolve. I can still feel sadness and a sense of loss however these are better emotions to feel than anger.

Anonymous on November 11, 2014 at 12:23 pm

There’ve been a number of times I’ve been disillusioned, the reason for each of them involving betrayal by family or friends. My Higher Power has never let me down, btw; I assume I say so due to my determination to trust His judgement. Betrayal is very traumatic, very difficult to overcome emotionally; I have had leftover negative feelings from these experiences which tend to cause conflict since forgiveness and trust are such serious things.

Raphaela on November 10, 2014 at 1:43 pm

Disillusionment is what happens to us when we face something that shakes the entire foundation of what we believe and love. For example, yes, when tragedy crushes one’s faith, when one feels stranded by their god in their darkest times.

Queenie on November 10, 2014 at 12:04 pm

I have often questioned a benevolent higher power when I see the suffering of the children. The horror and monstrosities that children suffer, often from the hand of those they love. I will never come to terms with this.

kingfamilyfan on November 10, 2014 at 11:33 am

Yes ,sometimes faith just isn’t enough.

Anonymous on November 9, 2014 at 12:48 pm

My faith in a Higher power has not let me down, it has astonished and rearranged me maybe!
An encounter with Presence/God or however you want to describe it is not like having your hair ruffled by an affectionate parent, its an all encompassing thing- an experience that your mind is no match for.

That I could in my life have such an encounter one which demonstrated the piteous absurdity of the intellect as a measure of anything, showed me the spirit can engage with God and if were not more than mind and flesh we could not have such an encounter.

Lisa on November 8, 2014 at 9:50 pm

Being disillusioned by someone or something happens from the time we are children the first time you realize your parent is not perfect to the first time the one you love proves they are not perfect. I was raised catholic and became Wiccan with the continued faith in a higher power(yes a lot of wiccans continue to believe ) the disillusion aspect however has made me stronger and even more positive in my outlook on loved ones and a higher power. My belief however is with the thought that nothing and no one is perfect, my expectations are there but within reality.

Anonymous on November 8, 2014 at 8:51 pm

In the broad sense, for humans, God has continually and daily caused disillusion. All the wars, poverty, greed, hatred, apathy that it all creates; God does nothing and totally can, makes a very nihilistic bunch of humans that compound the situation. To coin John Lydon, “NO FUTURE”

Doc Ron on November 8, 2014 at 8:48 pm

I lost faith in a higher power years ago. No reasonable being would allow the suffering that occurs on earth if they had any such capability. Don’t tell me it is somehow god’s will or we can not understand the reasoning. I call BS.
I work in the medical field and see all manner of people, and it is the the dregs of society that drag down the rest of us. People are their own higher power – and most do not care to really look after themselves. Then when they become sick or sicker, they blame others and rarely look at them self. It has been a process over these thirty years that has made me lose all faith in society as a whole.

Anonymous on November 8, 2014 at 7:59 am

that there is a higher purpose to life.

chris20141107 on November 8, 2014 at 6:12 am

god hates me

synwave7 on November 8, 2014 at 1:03 am

My faith in my higher power keeps me going He has yet to let me down. Humans are another story, we are all fallable. I will let you down at some point in my life. What I do to correct that behavior whatever the cause is getting to the crux of things. As I’ve said my spirituality sustains me. My higher power does not cause things good or bad, humans do. We were created with choice. How to behave, how to speak and think and interact and above all how we choose to survive. I used to think you were indeed dissolusioned if you believed in a “higher power” that you were weak and feeble minded. Not anymore. My belief in a higher power has saved my life. I don’t question “is there” anymore, I know there is. Just what is it – I will quite likely go to my grave trying to reveal that answer. I quit fighting anything or anyone, people places and things no longer define me and I quit defining people especially by if they “believe” or not. I am by no means a doormat though, I just no longer begrudge anyone for cutting me off in traffic or for believing or not.

The Voice of Truth on November 7, 2014 at 11:07 pm

How has your faith in a higher power or your loved ones let you down?
I had a good and loving mother. I must have been around the age of 4 or 5 when a preacher from the “Hellfire and Brimstone” Church of Christ denomination convinced my mother that she was a hell bound sinner in need of salvation through Jesus Christ. My good mother believed the preacher and gave her life to Jesus and brought my father and me along for the ride. I didn’t realize until many years later that my loving mother had let me down through her well-meaning actions in bringing me along with her to be brought up in this church and ruined my childhood.
The Church of Christ teaches a lot about sin and its eternal consequences. In other words the Church of Christ teaches a lot about Hell. As a result of this I lived in constant fear as a child of dying and going to hell.
There was a short bed time prayer I was taught to pray as a child. Maybe you’ve said it yourself as a child, it went like this; “Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep. If I should die before I wake. I pray the Lord my soul to take.” As a young child this prayer terrified me! “What if I died in my sleep! There must be a possibility of that happening or I wouldn’t be praying about it. I’m asking God to keep my soul; what if he says no to the prayer? What then?” There was a definite possibility that I could die in my sleep and wake up in fiery torment in hell!
Hell was always close by my side when I was a young child. My well-meaning mother had unknowingly let me down by bringing it into my life with the teaching of her new found church.
The Voice of Truth

Anonymous on November 7, 2014 at 12:37 pm

We are constantly let down because of our free will as humans and our incurable selfishness. We all make mistakes and unfortunately let others down, even if our intentions were the opposite.

weevolvefromsheep on November 7, 2014 at 10:53 am

I was abused growing up by my parent. One day as a young adult I couldn’t take it any more and blamed myself now for being a grown up and allowing it to still happen to me and so I decided the right thing for me to do was to make a change. The change was to stand up to my parent for them to acknowledge it, be sorry, and stop finally, or I would cut off all contact with them. Knowing in my heart all the pain they put me through and knowing they knew it too, I had far to much faith still in them to love me enough and care enough to do the right thing so I could be whole and happy. Instead my parent went on to very manipulatively reach out to every family member of mine and talk about me in negative ways encouraging them all to form negative opinions of me and telling them all a sob story about how hard her life is and how great a person she is so they would all feel bad for her. Every where I turned I was made to feel I had to defend myself. Every relationship I had was tainted with them treating me like they were judging me harshly. I felt no one looking on me with any good or love. It was as if every relationship I had, had been soiled. They got to everyone first. They made sure to help form others thoughts on how to think and feel about them and me always to there benefit and my pain. I cried and begged and asked how could they not care at all and they only made it about them self and how apparently their love for their child ends at making them look bad and they don’t care how they have to lie or who they have to throw under the bus to protect the image they worked so hard to manipulate. I had to stand by and watch them reach into every instance of love I had any chance to have and ruin it for me before it even had a chance to really begin. My faith in every one of my loved ones disappeared like the sudden exploding of a popped balloon as they told them what to think and they ate it up and no one said anything in my defense. My life was empty just like they wanted it. They always told me that I better not love anyone else but them because they resented me for how much they felt they sacrificed for me. They felt I owed them anything they could take from me. Who knew they could take so much. I guess they felt that as a child and teen I didn’t have much to pay them the debt they felt I owed for having been born and kept so they just figured my only worth was to hold up any lies they created to make themselves look better at my expense and I better pay up and shut up. What a web we weave when we practice to deceive.

Anonymous on November 6, 2014 at 8:13 pm

I went into marriage believing that it truly was “till death do us part.” You take the good and the bad and you work on it. Its not easy but nothing worth having generally does come easy. But then I was lied to, cheated on and betrayed which has left me with little faith in my husband. To walk away after 16 years of marriage and kids with no remorse and to continue to lie just destroyed me. And even during the separation, I was still fool enough to believe and feel hope when he would want to work on things again, just for him to change his mind and crush me. Everywhere I look, divorce is rampant, spouses are cheating, there is no true commitment or devotion anymore. Our society has become disposable and we are just tossing relationships in there as well. Make me worry so much for the future of my children. It has become an entitled, have to have it now just because I’m so perfect world.

Moth to the Flame on November 6, 2014 at 3:08 pm

Ha these are all very intertwined-oh what a tangled web we weave. Faith in a higher power has let me down when during a period in which I was feeling very connected & had strong faith came January 1st 2012 when we got a phone call telling us a dear friend who we had spent time with a few weeks earlier had taken his life. About 6 weeks later my Uncle who I loved very much died from a massive cardiac event leaving my Aunt on her own to raise their 2 young grandchildren. A week later my cousin who was like a brother to me took his life which totally devastated the family. In June a beloved cousin dropped dead in the parking lot of her cardiologist after a visit where he declared she was “right as rain”. These events shook me to my core & caused me to loose faith in my beliefs. As for loved ones when I was going through a terrible divorce after removing myself & daughter from a very bad toxic abusive situation my faith in my loved ones very much let me down. My parents felt ashamed of me & that I had shamed the family by getting a divorce (they are from one of those infamous buckle of the bible belt areas). They turned their backs on me for months & openly supported my abusive ex & took him to family events (which horrified my extended family-they wanted nothing to do with him). My faith in my parents was completed destroyed as I found out they did not have unconditional love for their only child. Our relationship will never be what it once was.

Anonymous on November 6, 2014 at 1:25 pm

I only trust a few people in my life and even then not 100%. This lack of trust is based off of events in my life and the people that have let me down along the way. This is something I am working on. However nobody is perfect and we can’t expect that of others. As for my faith in God, no that has never let me down.

Anonymous on November 6, 2014 at 10:43 am

I see miracles all the time. Blah, Blah, Blah Blah….. but, it’s true.

Anonymous on November 5, 2014 at 11:26 pm

Less being let down by a higher power and more a case of those that believe in one.

bjm on November 5, 2014 at 8:40 pm

People think that prayers are like a phone call to God ! Are we really that full of ourselves.We get disillusioned because we expect too much.You cant pray and expect immediate gratification.Praying,to me,is meant to help you open yourself up to a higher power,to let your faith help you deal with whatever is going on,help you make the best of the situation.We have all prayed for miracles but sometimes we don’t see the miracles that surround us.The birth of your children,The love of another, The beauty of our planet are all types of miracles.
Loved ones can let you down because the expectations are higher.They are people.Sometimes people suck. For a long time I was so disappointed and hurt by my alchoholic father. He was sometimes cruel and told us kids that he preferred the bottle to us. As a child I thought that maybe if I was a good girl he would love me more. As an adult I realized that it wasn’t my problem but his.

G.R. on November 5, 2014 at 1:56 pm

I believe that we’re a higher power ourselves! We live and learn and try to reach a higher, “purer” level. To reach that, we need to live many times and experience basically everything. So, knowing this, it’s easier to get over it when I’m let down by others, even loved ones. In the end, it’ll help me to get to the next level!

Anonymous on November 5, 2014 at 12:57 pm

When my mother was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I prayed for God to save her. I prayed for a miracle. When she didn’t get better and eventually passed away, I was so angry at God for taking her from me. What good was all that prayer if she just died anyway? In the end all I can come up with is that everything happens for a reason, even if I don’t understand what the reason is. I still have faith in God, but sometimes question whether he is really there.

Jamieson Wolf on November 5, 2014 at 9:42 am

I was raised Catholic. While it was good to have faith in a higher power, having faith in one that didn’t accept me as I was was troubling. I struggled with it and eventually left the Catholic church to find my own spirituality. I kept praying to God to make the bad things happening in my life at the time stop, as you were supposed to. They never did until I left the church and started living life for me.

Bendstowardsjustice on November 5, 2014 at 7:08 am

My biggest disillusionment comes from what my expectations for the future were as a child, and the adult reality of how very far our species still has to go. When I saw the movie “Idiocrasy” I cried, because it was true.

Nat on November 5, 2014 at 5:39 am

What higher power ? I am agnostic and don’t expect anything of any higher power.
With regard to my family, to the extent that I don’t expect anything from them, they never disappoint me.
The only person near me dropped is my mom … when she died, there was three years away by a rapid widespread cancer. But how could I blame her, really ?
And hence the commandment that says “Don’t do to others what you wouldn’t like them to do unto you,” I’m always there for those around me and they make me

Michelle on November 5, 2014 at 4:14 am

My government – my fellow Americans. My husband and I had a discussion about how low the voter turnout is in our amazing country. I could almost argue the case for those ungrateful beasts as I marked my ballot knowing full well that I would never win on that one.

Josh on November 5, 2014 at 12:34 am

I don’t think I’ve ever been let down in either instance.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 10:52 pm

I don’t believe in a higher power. There is no “reason” things happen. The world just is.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 9:46 pm

I have found that people act true to type most of the time. Disillusion happens because we expect too much of others. It’s best to just relax and let others get on with living their own struggle without your expectations adding to their stress.

GreenQueen on November 4, 2014 at 8:29 pm

since I have never expected anything of a higher power I have never been let down by it. Loved ones however, do they ever act as you think that they should? No, we are imperfect and hopefully we do the best that we can with what we have been taught throughout our lives.

Steel Grey on November 4, 2014 at 8:22 pm

Greatest disillusionment was the dashing of my belief/hope that my parents would love me, respect me and approve of me if only I was good enough … still waiting … never gonna happen. Although I am long sober and at peace, that wound was deep.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 5:56 pm

Never.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 5:24 pm

I think people feel let down by others because they are not realistic or empathetic enough. Human nature is such that we are all basically selfish, it’s a survival instinct, even those who seem altruistic do what we call unselfish acts because it makes them feel good (we should be thankful they do). Most people do not intentionally set out to hurt others. Every person in the world (yes, that means you!) has hurt, disappointed or let down others. Most of us didn’t intend to do it or we didn’t realise how much we affected the other person. You are not perfect and you can not expect others to be either. Yes, you may feel let down, but even if you can’t forgive the other person at least put yourself in their shoes and understand their intentions or what lays behind their actions. If you are disillusioned by people’s actions, it’s because you live in a romantic, fantasy world; you have unreal expectations. Gain realism and empathy, accept people for who they are, flawed, just like you.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 5:16 pm

Venerable to evil terrors that try to possess me. Is it a test? Do I have to stand on my own? Am I strong enough and will I be rescued at the last second?

Faith Works on November 4, 2014 at 4:51 pm

Buying what the world is selling. Giving up on your truth – for that of someone else.

Sele on November 4, 2014 at 4:49 pm

No. The only time I felt like that was a time when (later I realized that) I turned away. My faith has helped me to continue to see the possibilty of us (humans) evolving into something healthier for ourselves and all life.

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 11:23 am

Is having your faith not fulfilled

Anonymous on November 4, 2014 at 8:09 am

Just viewing the world and what is going on tells me the is no Higher Power. I discovered this a long time ago. The majority of people I know, with few exceptions, have let me down. These few exceptions are the people I cherish and nurture. These few people are MY Higher Power.

Anonymous on November 3, 2014 at 8:33 pm

I am unable to feel completely connected with anyone since a heartbreak years ago. I am happy, but the scar remains.

Anonymous on November 3, 2014 at 8:32 pm

The only faith I need to believe in or follow, is the faith in myself. No one can let me down, I can only let myself down.

JMMT on November 3, 2014 at 8:31 pm

Faith in a higher power doesn’t exist for me so it hasn’t let me down. Faith in a loved one is a different story. It has made it more difficult for me to ever trust someone to the level that I had trusted before being betrayed.

Lisa S on November 3, 2014 at 2:09 pm

I have very little faith in people. I am only alive still today due to my faith in my higher power.

J.B. on November 3, 2014 at 6:08 am

I have become disillusioned with society. Society has essentially fallen apart. The sense of unity is gone. Our so called “leaders” have forgotten why they are in their position. They seem to be dividing society. Individuals have become colder, more selfish and more self centered. If we don’t change soon we are doomed.

Tanesa Sanchez on November 3, 2014 at 2:02 am

My belief that God loves us all and is there in time of despair and never burdens us with more than we can handle is far fetched for me anymore. Why do the people I love get cancer, why do little children get raped, why do we have illnesses that can’t be cured.

Anonymous on November 2, 2014 at 6:33 pm

“Faith” aka Religion – is a poisonous force on the earth. “Faith aka religion” brings about war and tears apart families. People throw their gay children out like garbage because of “Faith”. I grew up Pentecostal and I hate seeing my young niece being indoctrinated into the same terrible religion I was forced into as a child. I just hope that she will be able to one day break away from her brain-washing, the way I did.

Steve on November 2, 2014 at 3:21 pm

No one can actually look into anothers heart and determine its true nature. This is where faith comes in. Our loved ones may let us down. We may be let down again and again. I have even let myself down before, failing to stay strong in the face of difficult adversity. I do believe it is also possible to become disillusioned with that or those we have previously had faith in. The secret lies in staying strong and being open to having faith restored.

Ann from Massachusetts on November 2, 2014 at 3:12 pm

Putting Faith in others or a higher power can take the focus of the problem…I think it’s best ( for me) to put faith in myself ,my abilities and resources to cope with my issues. As difficult as it is at times ,I have to do the heavy lifting …. Just wishing or praying never solved the problem,taking the first step which is usually a ” change” that is difficult ,uncomfortable or something I really don’t want to do ,pushes things in the right direction. Making an effort can make a big difference .

JB on November 2, 2014 at 1:59 pm

If there ever was a god, he forgot about which good people my parents are / were. He’s left them to dogs. I can never believe in a god like that.

Shaak Ti on November 2, 2014 at 9:55 am

Fortunatelly, my faith in a higher power has never let me down and hopefully it never will. Perhaps I should also put that comment in the “Faith” section; I’ll think about it. As for disillusion, my life has been a constant disappointment brought on by my loved ones. Sometimes, when a dark hour comes over me, I ponder over this fact and get to the conclusion that it might have been my fault. I might have chosen bad loved ones. That could be true for lovers, close friends or husbands, but what about parents? Did I choose them? In my previous life or whatever? How come that I counted on my father so many times and he always let me down? How come that I heard so many unfair, hurtful words from my mother in the most dire life situations? My other loved ones usually left me all by myself when I needed help. Truly needed help, like in the call-911-situations. It probably is true what they say: a friend in need is a friend indeed. I have never experienced that. And yet, true friendship is something I still hope for. My own private ka-tet. But hope and faith are not the same things, I guess, and I rather don’t believe I will ever have it. Not in this world at least. You can put me down under “disillusioned”.

Amber on November 2, 2014 at 1:38 am

I do not have much experience in faith in a higher power, other than if I didn’t have at least a little faith that the universe will one day give me a good result for all the work I do, then I think I would go crazy. Lately it has been my faith in my loved ones that has changed. I find myself almost constantly changing myself to make things work between myself and my loved ones as well as lowering my expectations of them. For example, right now I am six months pregnant. At first some part of me was expecting my boyfriend and family to pamper me. Now I try to continue doing everything I can myself, only seriously ask for help when I need it, and am pleasantly surprised whenever they do something special for me. Some of this has to do with the stress of the pregnancy being unexpected, my boyfriend and I trying after six years of being together to finally have a place of our own, his father suddenly passing away in September, and him now trying to take over the family business. But how much must I lower my wants and needs so that my faith in my loved ones is no longer being let down?

KC on November 1, 2014 at 9:03 pm

I am sure this happens to a lot of people…when you meet someone, they are on their best behavior…trying to impress you…trying to make the best impression ever. They get you comfortable, liking the state of things…then they change into the person they are…slovenly, lazy, non-committal, they take advantage of the situation…in the meantime you are stuck in a relationship you thought you wanted to be in, unable or unwilling to change things or so complacent that you will settle for anything that is remotely nice to you…

Anonymous on November 1, 2014 at 6:19 pm

I’ve seen the worst Christians can be judgmental, unsympathetic, racist. Because of that I changed religions.

S in AZ on November 1, 2014 at 4:57 pm

Life is just one big let down and it just keeps on trying to beat you down! From organized religon, family, so called “friends”, work, people and the world full of psycopaths and all of it!

Anonymous on November 1, 2014 at 4:46 pm

Disillusioned indeed. I love my family (mom, dad, sister) but was constantly disappointed when the didn’t meet my expectations. It took quite some time, but I lowered my expectations for them as a way to cope. It really helped. Now I expect very little and am pleasantly surprised when they exceed my expectations. I try to keep this attitude for the public in general. Bad behavior is so prevalent these days, but my lower expectations do protect me from being too disappointed.

Sean Docherty on November 1, 2014 at 2:55 pm

Lets face the facts. Most of the world is deluded believing that religion is the answer to everything, its not. We as human beings put so much of ourselves into higher powers that we do not have any proof even exist. By doing this we are giving away parts of ourselves to other people/beings and have become subdued. This has been the case everywhere, you only have to turn on the news to see what I am talking about. People rely too much on religion and use it to blindly act out what they desire even though it may hurt loved ones or a stranger.

e.n.o.o.n.e. on November 1, 2014 at 2:54 pm

zero equals two

i
i am
i am not

disillusion is what happens between illusions

Anonymous on November 1, 2014 at 2:48 pm

God has never let me down. Minor infractions from my loved one’s give me moments of let down. The person I’m usually disappointed in the most, is myself.

MadManse on November 1, 2014 at 2:08 pm

“No matter what happens, your children will always love you.” It’s a platitude. A messy divorce and the “children” (26 and 22) still live with their mother from whom they get all their emotional queues. They will not talk to me. Here’s another platitude: “Give it time.” At 67, how much time do I have left to give?!

Matt on November 1, 2014 at 1:49 pm

God allows parents to kill their children and so forth and so on, because I believe that God gives us free will and did not create people simply to worship him or to “do good.” He wants people to choose to worship him or choose to sin. I; however, see how other people live and how I work my butt off and get no where in life. How I can write my entire life and have no outlet for publication, because you can’t just submit stuff to magazines now? When my dad died, how family members came out of the woodwork to try to get around my dads WILL to get money.

Bonnie, 65 on November 1, 2014 at 11:07 am

Having “faith” has pretty much convinced me to be a lost cause. Why would you believe in a loving god who “allow” parents to kill their children, children to kill other children, non-stop wars, bus accidents killing church followers, serial killers, horrid diseases killing babies, children, young people, elderly people getting slaughtered…just for starters. The animals fare no better. If there’s a god, it leaves everyone down.

charla podany on November 1, 2014 at 7:12 am

My loved ones more than my faith has let me down. People can be so judge mental and cruel but when it comes from someone you love and trust it hurts more. As I get older I seem to retreat into myself to keep from being hurt.

Dilligaf on November 1, 2014 at 5:45 am

The church is the biggest disillusionment to the human race. Man invented it because he couldn’t accept that we were just like all other living things. Since then it has been responsible for more wars, tortures, killings, lies, fraud, sex offences (esp. paedophilia) and power hungry monsters than anything else. Not even money or politics come close!

Anonymous on November 1, 2014 at 5:42 am

I’ve been agnostic all my life, but when I was younger, I remember praying off the bat when I was really upset. I never got any reply and what I was praying for never happened. I’m now an atheist–there’s no reason to believe in God now we have an understanding of the world–and faith in a higher power doesn’t apply to me.

My loved ones have mostly been loyal to me, but I do remember–again, when I was young–my best friend leaving me for a large group of popular kids when we went to high school. I was completely distraught–I’m really shy and really trusted her, and couldn’t handle such a huge group. I didn’t have any friends for a long time after that. It sounds stupid, but it really was one of the worst times in my life.

Anonymous on November 1, 2014 at 1:45 am

My family was taught that “Blood is thicker than water”. My mother was from Millinocket, ME & my dad was from Pittsburgh, PA. My mom was one of 15 siblings….my dad….one of 5. I am the oldest of 6. We were brought up that family was the most important thing.
One of my sisters disapproved of the way that my youngest brother was raising his children….and disapproved of the way my father was living……and disapproved of the way that I had of consulting my husband if I wanted to spend money. She caused a LOT of trouble for the family.
When my Father passed, she received a windfall from all of his life insurance policies. At the time, every child in the family was struggling except for her….and she was upset that she had to share my Father’s pension with the family.
And then she got sick……one of my sisters took care of her until she passed……The family basically thought that it was just another ploy for her to gain sympathy & nobody believed that she was really ill. Her death was a shock because she was 46.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 10:03 pm

My dad died when I was 9. Enough said.

Tikva on October 31, 2014 at 8:21 pm

My faith let me down as it taught me that the only reason you should leave or divorce your husband is if he committed adultery, so I ended up staying in a violent marriage, believing that God would heal my husband.

Thomas on October 31, 2014 at 6:09 pm

When I see an obvious problem and the problem goes uncorrected, that is what rattles my faith.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 6:05 pm

I do not believe in a “higher power.” The fact that all my family does is very disappointing. But I love them anyway.

Tammy on October 31, 2014 at 4:30 pm

My mother let me down when she did everything in her power to make sure I was picked on in school. Then she died of breast cancer. My husband let me down when it became obvious the only one he cared for was himself, and between the falling down, pissing himself drunkeness and the cheating, he destroyed our family. God was always there for me. I turned away from God, but looking back over the years (and I have over 50 of them to look back over), God was always there. I managed to thrive in a job I was not educationally prepared for. I left my husband. I raised my children. I bought a home. I got stronger. I did not once blame God for any of this.

wren on October 31, 2014 at 4:14 pm

I think the hardest form of disillusionment, for me, is the one that comes when you realise that not everyone is going to love you back, just because you love them. In fact, most won’t. And that especially counts when it comes to family. Just because you were thrown together by whatever mad fate that we call life, doesn’t mean you have built in people to cherish you. That’s something that has caused me to question my belief in a higher power. I believe mightily in something being out there, but for me to believe it is a cognizant force? That one little issue I’ve described is just one of the things that give me pause…

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 3:55 pm

Being let down is just my ego setting up expectations that were not met . It forces me to reevaluate my expectations .

Gordon on October 31, 2014 at 11:28 am

This is all our fault to be disillusioned is to have faith in something or somebody and they let you down the more we rely on others the more disillusioned we will be there is a thread running through all these words Faith Tragedy Disillusion we need to have more self reliance and belief this does not mean living in a bubble away from others but be stronger have a more focussed outlook on life again we are only here ONCE!!!

cinderella on October 31, 2014 at 11:21 am

my faith in a higher power has been tested over and over. Has my faith waivered? I would be a liar if I said no. Has it made me stronger, YES.
I have been disillusioned with loved ones. The ones you love hurt you the most and let you down the hardest, but this is all part of human nature. It takes a lot sometimes to get over it. Whether you can or can’t is whether you have forgiveness inside of you. I know I have let others down in the past.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 10:29 am

I came to the conclusion whatever is going to happen will happen regardless of faith in a higher power. Intercessory prayer did not save my mom and what kind of God just randomly says “I’ll take you, you and you today” and leaves children without a parent, a parent without an only child, etc. I don’t look to family for help so I don’t have to worry about them letting me down.

Cjw on October 31, 2014 at 10:19 am

No. My faith has faltered in the dark. But shines again as sure as the sun rises

WODSlayer on October 31, 2014 at 10:15 am

My faith in a God hasn’t let me down to date that I have seen, but I can’t say the same for loved ones. On more than one occasion my brothers have let me down in multiple ways. From bringing drugs around my family, to stealing money, to becoming drug dealers, I’ve gone through the ringer over them. That is what makes a family a family though, the willingness to go through things like this and still be there for them.

That is also what makes faith in a higher power FAITH, your willingness to trust and have faith that Gad has your best interests in mind even if you can ascertain what those are at the moment.

StarChilde on October 31, 2014 at 9:58 am

I have never lost my faith in a higher power because I don’t believe that a higher power knows or cares about human beings, any more than we care about ants.

I have frequently been hurt by people I care about because being so honest myself, I just take everyone else at face value. You would think that after all these years I would have learned not to do it, but then the next new person comes along and I do it again.

I wouldn’t say that I have become disillusioned with others. I just accept that they are what they are, just as I am what I am.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 9:43 am

My faith has let me down by the fact that believing that I am a good person and things will just work out for me. Falling in love with someone and believing that they will choose me because of how honest and good that I am and then they just cheating on you and choosing someone else. I guess the lesson is that I should keep my faith for something better because who wants someone like that.

BT on October 31, 2014 at 8:37 am

Everyone who has been raised by a parent or parent-figure has had a time when they realize this person is not the all-knowing individual they had thought they were. Having my mother dash my faith in her and what I thought was our mother-daughter relationship shook me to my inner being and made me decide it’s best to keep it all inside.

My faith in a loved one let me down when I lost them suddenly without being able to have them around or share with them. It was a regret to know I did not show all and share all with them that I could have when I had the time.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 6:48 am

Seeing is believing. Believing is seeing

kohalakirk on October 31, 2014 at 5:10 am

Even if faith lets me down, its sense of humor keeps me going. Because I have faith in the interconnectedness of all things.

Anonymous on October 31, 2014 at 1:34 am

No one is perfect, everyone is out for themselves. It’s the truth, honestly. If someone is doing something kind, there’s something in it for them, even if that’s just the feeling of having done a good deed or the desire to avoid the guilt of disappointing someone. My faith in people these days is more aptly described as my estimation on how much they enjoy the feeling of doing something kind, or how much they need to feel liked or loved by other people.

As for god, as far back as I can remember I couldn’t lie to myself well enough to have an imaginary friend. When you’re five years old and demanding evidence before being able to accept anything as truth, you’re a born atheist.

deldergod on October 31, 2014 at 1:11 am

Disillusion with faith was a gradual process, starting with education, lots of reading on religion, occult, science, etc and oh yes, Bin Laden, Hitler, Pol Pot and those other demons allowed to massacre millions.

Kittens McTavish on October 31, 2014 at 12:30 am

I’m no Pollyanna, but I always end up surprised and disillusioned when someone discriminates against another person based solely on their race, religion or sexual orientation. This is 2014. We are all different. Why is it so hard to get over our fear of those who are different?

vlm on October 31, 2014 at 12:26 am

My faith in a higher power died when I prayed, at the age of 4, to die and be delivered to the loving god that would save me from the abuse I suffered at the hands of parents that shouldn’t have been allowed to raise dogs let alone children.

LetUsVenture on October 30, 2014 at 11:21 pm

My faith in my higher power let me down tremendously in May when my mother died. My disillusionment came from my belief that if I prayed enough, talked to our Creator enough, believed that all conditions can be healed enough and visualized her healing enough that she would get better. I was wrong. For as much love as a daughter can have for her mother, I was wrong.

DrownedKing on October 30, 2014 at 10:54 pm

I’ve become disillusioned with the idea of family. My family used to mean so much to me as a child but now as an adult I watch my siblings argue over petty things and fully see the flaws in my parents. I am in no way perfect but to watch the people I love squabble over every inane thing has caused me to care about them as much.

gp on October 30, 2014 at 10:49 pm

I loved him with all I had, but it wasn’t enough. Now I can’t trust in anyone but myself.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 10:47 pm

My faith in a higher power let me down over and over. I prayed for the healing of loved ones many times, but there was never any healing. They all died. I finally figured out that there was no higher power, and that prayers aren’t answered. I was raised in a fundamentalist Christian household, and when I realized that it was pretty unlikely that anything was out there (or if there were, they really didn’t give a fuck about us), it was liberating. Now I do good things just because it’s the right thing to do, not because I fear some sort of divine retribution in an afterlife that I really don’t think is there.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 10:39 pm

Look in the mirror, brother.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 10:05 pm

When I first became a Christian, I loved my church. Then the pastor did something “unpastorly” and it really shook my faith. I was surely disillusioned by a man I thought was godly. I have since then come to the realization that man is man and only God is God. Careful who you worhip

KSpi on October 30, 2014 at 9:50 pm

I let myself down. I’ve read a lot of comics and watched a lot of movies and I always told myself I would be the best possible person. I would be the ideal man for some woman. The reality turned out to be quite the opposite. I’ve lived inside my own head for so long, it’s almost impossible for me to open up to anyone, much less be totally honest with my girlfriends. I’ve become the inattentive, insensitive, forgetful, lazy man I thought I would never be. I’m not even sure I like myself right now, and while I don’t feel suicidal, if the grim reaper came for me, I’m not too sure I would fight very hard for my life. Hindsight is most definitely 20/20. Life will change you and mold you and often will turn you into the person you never thought would exist in your skin.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 9:33 pm

Disillusion for me is seeing people want the best for their children and their children’s children and then getting up each day to mine another mineral ore vein.

Bill S on October 30, 2014 at 9:23 pm

I am disillusioned with myself. I thought I was a strong person, a smart person. But my life is nothing like I thought it would be growing up. I think if I was able to see into the future I would have committed suicide when I was extremely suicidal & wasn’t being treated for my severe depression.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 8:53 pm

I always get disappointed and disillusioned when I realize people can actually be “stupid and cruel enough to do what they do”. I guess I’m naive as I get surprised by that quite often. Stupidity, cruelty, abuse, mindlessness, ignorance and blind trust in those, who claim they act for the common good…

Shannon on October 30, 2014 at 8:39 pm

Tough question to answer for me right now. I’ve been emotionally torpedoed by a loved one. I’m struggling to be ok and it’s hard to breathe. When I’m alone or talk about it, I feel the tears coming. Apparently I’m not good at showing I’m ok, because I get voicemails and texts from my friends saying I sound and look off.

I really believed in someone for ten years to find out that they were lying from the start. I still love this person, and will always love them. So I’m struggling with trying to move forward without completely falling apart. How do you just pretend everything’s ok when you want to scream at them….but you have to. You’re so interconnected in the other’s life that you’re going to see them for another 40 or more years. Whatever you decide to handle the situation now, effects what happens to your relationship for those decades. I’m struggling with that.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 8:18 pm

I dont think im disillusioned by anything. You cant trust anyone, not even yourself.
My siblings have abandoned me to take care of my widiwed mother with psychological problems by myself, a single mother of two, one who is autistic. The rest of them are happily married with children, who rarely call and dont want to visit because they will have to spend time with our mother.

danicus on October 30, 2014 at 8:18 pm

My disillusion came from my faith in the wrong things. For example: Human intelligence. People can be evil if they want to. Some people just are that way. Choices… My ego does not get hit as hard these days by disillusionment, as I strive to know what is, rather than what I wish it were. I try to expect nothing and appreciate everything. Disillusionment just slows me down.

Just B on October 30, 2014 at 7:58 pm

As long as you never expect ANYTHING from ANYONE, you will never be disappointed. Translation is there is no disillusionment.

Ms. J on October 30, 2014 at 7:37 pm

When I do put faith in my family I know they will let me down eventually because they are human and therefore not perfect. But my faith in God has never let me down. It does not mean that bad things have not happened in my life but the bad things serve to bring glory to Him if I am willing to let Him use a hard circumstance in my life to further my walk with HIM and to bring him glory. So yes people family will fail you but God never will.

aegisalways on October 30, 2014 at 7:29 pm

How hast thou disappointed me? Let me count the ways…
But never mind, let’s suffice it to say it has led to a stronger, more confident self who is not dependent on anyone, real or imaginary, for anything. There is a certain freedom to life when that is the case. Especially when you make yourself available for others, but ask nothing in return.

Sgt G on October 30, 2014 at 7:28 pm

Iraq 2004 MSR Michigan at a TCP I ordered my squad to fire on a vehicle that had accelerated and entered a point where it was considered a threat. I fired into the driver and likely also into the young girl in the backseat. I had been a medic in my civilian life and I tried to save her life. I begged….I fucking begged God to spare that kid. As an Infantryman in combat I knew these things could happen, as a man of faith I trusted that it would not happen to me. I was wrong and I have not spoken to God in almost 10 years. On the 28th of Nov 2014 it will be a decade. I was wounded just hours later by an IED and had to retire.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 7:20 pm

It’s so hard when you pray and pray for something and it doesn’t happen. Something that seems so important in your life. It makes you feel like you are being punished for something. What did you do wrong? Loved ones? Now that’s a good one! I’ve had relatives I thought I could trust and loved only to find out they never really liked me and totally shut me out of their lives when my dad passed away many years ago. Spouses, well all I can say is my 2nd one was found with his friend from back in his school days. He stayed with her when he should have been in his own home, with his wife, and keep his job. He promised to be with me, take care of me, and made many plans. It was all a sham.

Chris Sarwine on October 30, 2014 at 7:17 pm

I know all I am, all I will ever be, is solely my responsibility no one else’s.

Invisible on October 30, 2014 at 7:06 pm

I’ve been married three times. The first was when I was very young, 19. He cheated. He told me, ten years after our wedding, after I caught him red-well, not exactly handed, that he had had sex with one of my bride’s maids right after the ceremony. I left him.
I was never very good at trusting, but I blindly trusted him.

I avoided anything that might turn into a relationship for 6 years. I met my second husband. We were neighbors. He was sweet and kind… for 10 months out of the year. It turned out he was bi-polar. It was so bad, that he had a complete personality change. It seemed like over night he changed from a shy Italian husband into a little black man with a chip on his shoulder, right next to the getto blaster.
His father died in late September several years before we met. His mother, who was probably bi-polar, asked one day that October if they could talk for a few minutes. The World Series was on. He told her “later.”
She went out, to the nearest gas station, drove back to their neighborhood, poured the gasoline over herself on the next door neighbor’s lawn and set herself on fire. He didn’t know until the fire dept knocked on his door.
Every October he went south. We went to councelling, he quit. The thing was, when he was crazy, he couldn’t recognize it and when he wasn’t, it was never going to happen again.
I divorced him, then moved leaving no address or phone number for him to follow me.

Again, I became celibate for 9 years.
In 1995 I got my first Apple computer. It was a Preforma 575 (Not sure if the number is correct. It’s been a long time.) I joined a local AOL chat room. I made it clear in my profile that I was just looking for friends, no commitments, nothing sexual. I also put my real height, weight and age. Smart people tend to not believe what they read on-line. I can understand that, but I was, as I saw it fat, old and unattractive, but they didn’t believe me.
One person, whose sexual advances I had rejected, was harassing me in the chat room. A man, whose screen name implied lothario, sent me a private message with his phone # saying he didn’t like the way that guy was treating me and if I’d like to talk, he was available. I called. He was sweet and understanding, and so sincere.
We started out as friends, but it became serious quickly. We dated for 5 years.I was hesitant to take it further, I am 18 years his senior. We married in 2000.
Now 14 years later, I look as old as I am. We haven’t had sex for about 5 years. I’ve caught him sexting with someone, he now belongs to an x rated website for people seeking anonymous partners. The fee comes out of our joint account. He has “gone to the gym” then a $70 charge shows up for an Italian restaurant 20 miles away.
He has a plausible explanation for everthing. He says he loves me. But he gets so angry sometimes. When he’s angry, usually about some innocent thing I’ve done or said, he tells me he should just leave my fat ass.
Yes, I know he’s cheating, but now, I’m retired, I have no income except social security. He spends every extra cent, so half of nothing is….
I’ll live out the rest of my life in a sexless, loveless marriage, just so I won’t have to live under a tree along the freeway.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 6:39 pm

My faith in others has been broken in the past. Some people aren’t able to love completely or be fully loyal. I believe that people usually do the very best they can, but some just can’t give as much as others. It has still hurt deeply during the few times I’ve experienced this. The betrayal or just the neglect has made me disillusioned with those people, a crack in the relationship that couldn’t be mended. But it has not disillusioned me towards others or the overall goodness in people.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 6:35 pm

If there is a higher power it is cruel and abusive to not intervene in the truly awful things that happen in the world. Sure, I have been let down by people in the past and been disillusioned for a while but I try to be grateful for all the good stuff in my life instead of dwelling on the bad stuff. For me, disillusionment is short term.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 6:13 pm

I am far more forgiving of others than I could ever be of myself… I am the person who constantly feels like I’m disappointing every single person I love because of my own flaws and weaknesses. It’s a very selfish way of looking at life, as it assumes that everything revolves around me. And this is where it gets entangled…as an only child and only grandchild of four grandparents and three great-grandparents, I was treated as if the world did, in fact, revolve around me. I was endlessly praised, indulged, spoiled (but not rotten, I always say–whether this is true remains to be seen, I guess). Everything I wanted, I got–sometimes before I even knew I wanted it. Once I got to school, the weight of a fourth-grader in kindergarten, I had a VERY rude awakening, needless to say. I was also extremely overprotected–never allowed to ride my back past the corner, never allowed to go sledding, roller skating, camping with Girl Scouts, etcetera. My parents were always TERRIFIED I would be hurt, physically, emotionally, you name it. How do you learn to trust yourself when the people you love most don’t trust you to do the most basic childhood things? I reached an age where I stopped blaming them–I know they meant well, and we’ve worked through it. Yet all those demons still lurk–most beneath the surface, but my weight right out there for everyone to see. Other addictions hide, but not mine. I’m over 50 now… my health is starting to feel the ill effects of my weight. Yet still I overeat. Still I smoke cigarettes. Still I’m disillusioned with myself, because I know better. My empathy for others has only grown, but my self-loathing remains. I have a strong faith in my Higher Power, and a great relationship with the spiritual… I have the most wonderful husband a woman could have (and I still can’t believe it most days) and a wonderful son… why isn’t this enough for me to stop letting myself, and everyone else, down? I have all the knowledge, insight and impetus to change… but I don’t change. I think I will never change. I have no doubt that one of my loved ones will find me dead in bed or on the floor one of these days. Disillusionment? Yeah. It’s such a beautiful world… we are the ones who make ourselves ugly.

ellen on October 30, 2014 at 6:12 pm

Loved ones can’t help but let us down at some point simply because we are all human and imperfect. Whenever I feel disillusioned with life, it’s always my skewed perception of things.

Nathaniel Hornblower on October 30, 2014 at 6:06 pm

Yes, I’ve prayed as hard as one can pray about certain things, such as “please God, rid me of this debilitating social anxiety I have.” I’ve been praying for that for at least 18 years, and still here’s that old ever-persistent social anxiety, still hindering me. I wonder why God hasn’t rid me of this burden, and even get angry sometimes. Again, I repeat, God works in mysterious ways. It must serve some kind of higher purpose, so I deal with it.

kittykittymowmow on October 30, 2014 at 6:05 pm

If there is a higher power, it is only there to determine faith and to watch it play out. Other wise how could someone be up there and watch all the horror and do nothing?? How can someone up there sit and watch while an innocent child goes to school with bruises, while an innocent dog gets thrown into a ring, or while children die of cancer? The only higher power there is is fate. If someone up there was able to do more, how could they not??

Lori on October 30, 2014 at 5:57 pm

There will always be dissapointments from all around. How you handle them will determine how strong you can be.

Robert Gray on October 30, 2014 at 5:18 pm

My understanding of the world around me, powers great and small, cannot let me down because I realize everything is connected. The universe does not revolve around me or my loved ones. I am alive. I have my ticket to the ride. The rest is up to me. We all have a destiny and a fate. We fight like hell to achieve the former before the latter catches up with us.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 5:08 pm

My faith in my family has definitely let me down. My mother is so immature and selfish, that my daughter won’t know her as anything but a picture. All due to a stupid fight with my husband.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 4:45 pm

In God? No. In loved ones? At times. My little brother made a lot of bad choices in life and it ended with him losing his life at a young age. I always thought he would turn his life around but it just never happened. I do miss him.

Kay on October 30, 2014 at 4:28 pm

Disillusionment comes from expectations. Once you are over expectations, there is no disillusionment. It’s hard work, it takes time and effort; it’s only human to expect things from your loved ones. To expect things from a higher power? Well, it seems to me that this is only projecting human attributes to God/gods/a higher power.

JLS Disillusioned on October 30, 2014 at 4:28 pm

I had always held high hopes for human-kind. I was oh-so disillusioned by the fact that human-kind is not always “kind”. I have begun my life over 3 times (completely) because of my faith in human-kind. I have been let down, pushed down, stomped on and kicked. Some of those literally and some of those metaphorically. One would not expect family to treat each other so unkindly (almost inhumanly). From childhood to adulthood, I have seen, watched and was included physically in such unkindly acts. I know that people have had it much worse than myself. But for a human to be that cruel to another human or any living creature for that matter is so disheartening.
Why or how could anyone be so disillusioned…… the answer is…… There is always hope

chaos-consultants on October 30, 2014 at 4:18 pm

Disillusion is conditioned into our psyche from a young age. We follow our parents, their social norms and advice. Our teachers guide us based on a belief system. Unbinding our biases and assumptions to be open to ideas is the great escape for those who surround us within a cloud of disillusion.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 3:56 pm

I lost my faith in a higher power after seeing all of the pain and suffering that people and creatures have endured (i.e. illness, death, abuse, etc.) in my lifetime.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 3:44 pm

Often. That is all

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 3:43 pm

I am disillusioned with everything lately. I find that lately nobody seems to care about anything or anyone but themselves and I am tired of it. It’s so hard to be positive in a world where everyone always concentrates on the negative.

Constant Reader on October 30, 2014 at 2:58 pm

I’ve been spending a lot of time in the past 10 years getting my illusions dissed. I no longer believe in organized religion, government, progress, economics, politics, the medical profession or any other system to save us from the slide we’re on. I don’t think disillusion is a bad thing at all. When you’ve been believing a lie and it gets stripped away, you’re cleaner and saner. I love this about Stephen King’s books – people are always getting their illusions dissed and coming out braver.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 2:54 pm

Someone in a movie somewhere talked about how this person disappointed them, falling off of their pedestal (and then with dawning realization) ever since “I put them up there.” My faith in others only let me down until I realized that I had put them on a pedestal they were destined to fall from. People are not perfect and once I realized this no one could ever let me down again. I have faith that others will overcome whatever it is they want or need to. And if they don’t then they don’t. But that chance, that opportunity, is always there. It’s pretty much the same with my higher power. Once I accepted that God wasn’t here to catch me and make magical wonderful things happen and change my life for me but rather to stand beside me and love me and have faith in me, then I stopped blaming God and being angry at God and just started talking to God. I’m still on this road though and have much to learn and explore which is exciting because I think whatever I have left to learn will be pretty amazing.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 2:48 pm

People I thought I could trust have let me down, I’m sure I let them down somehow too. Divorce, lost friendships, death…they all have shaped who I am today. I’m proud of who I am and love the people I’m surrounded by. As for faith, well, I struggle with my belief in a higher power and life after death but I have great faith in people. I believe there are more “good” than “bad” people in this world and that each one of us is doing our very best.

Missy on October 30, 2014 at 2:21 pm

We’ve all been let down at one time or another, but it’s only because we set our expectations on the outcome of the situation too high. You can’t go to God with a laundry list of things you want & then be disappointed when you don’t receive them, life doesn’t work that way. Neither does humanity. Humans are fallible and as long as you remember that you’ll never be trully let down by anyone. You have to strive to be the best person you can be and know that others are also trying for the same goal, but no one is going to get it right all the time.

Violet on October 30, 2014 at 2:01 pm

If there is a higher power, I think It has done enough in giving me life and a chance to experience all of the good and bad things that gift entails: sunlight, good food, companionship, nature, the smell and joy of opening a new book, a thunderstorm, etc.

Yes, people have let me down and I have let some of them down. That is part of life, nothing to be disillusioned about except that I have become less gullible as I have experienced life and grown older.

Rick on October 30, 2014 at 1:26 pm

Modern religion seems to exist solely to make the churches richer, by exploiting people’s faith in that religion. My faith has let me down by making me a more jaded person towards organized religion in general.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 1:06 pm

My faith in God has never let me down. However, some of my family has definitely let me down especially after the death of a family member. Why do some people think it’s OKAY to turn into greedy bastards when there is a death in the family. And the greediest are usually the ones who haven’t been close to the deceased at all!

Thomas on October 30, 2014 at 1:00 pm

It is no one’s responsibility, be that a higher power or a loved one to either build you up or let you down. You are the master of your own destiny. Only you can allow someone to let you down. If someone betrays you, or tries to destroy you faith it should be of no concern to you. Emotionally, you control how you let others affect you. Physically you have less control. People can do you physical damage if they catch you unawares, but how you deal with that too speaks volumes as to what sort of person you are.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 12:50 pm

If you believe in a higher power ultimately you will be let down as there isn’t one. x

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 12:48 pm

I have been let down by family members in the wake of a death. One refused to help in the settlement of the will and belongings and another stole money from the heirs and got away with it. I have not been in contact with them since. You can only rely on yourself.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 11:15 am

I have felt let down by loved ones, but never lost my love for them. They are people just like me and we all make misjudgements. No one can know any other person’s deep down motivations and faith in a higher power is just that – faith in something unseen.

Robert on October 30, 2014 at 9:09 am

My faith in a higher power has never let me down because I don’t expect anything from it. My faith in Loved Ones however has on occasion, particularly when people you put a lot of stock in reveal their weak side and either betray you or sell you down the road. But that’s human nature. People screw up. Getting older though, I realize the magnitude of disillusion is in direct proportion to our level of expectations, which are often unrealistic. That’s where the Zen approach comes in handy.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 9:05 am

I think everyone has been let down at one point or another. We’re all human and very difficult to please sometimes. However, I haven’t been disillusioned by God. He told us in the bible that our life would be very hard. But I know that He keeps His promises, and He promised to forgive me when I ask, so I’ll be with Him one day.

Anonymous on October 30, 2014 at 1:05 am

I’m always reminded of that song that goes “If you can’t be with the one you love, love the one you’re with.” I tend to put my faith in people who consistently let me down. The people I most want to be around don’t make time for me like I do for them, and it hurts. It’s something I’ve had to come to terms with, but it’s so hard. Since I’m an agnostic, I say I believe in other people rather than a higher power, but honestly most people tend to let me down. It’s funny; people tend to ask me for a lot and expect a lot out of me, and I try to be there for them when they need me, but I don’t feel I can expect much of many people in return. After being constantly let down personally, professionally, and romantically, I’ve kind of become jaded, but I feel like I’m stuck in this role of the happy-go-lucky guy — always putting on a smile for folks, because that’s what the happy-go-lucky guy does. He’s not allowed to be sad or serious or have actual feelings, because it would make everyone else sad. He’s just supposed to be there for people when they need him, because of course he doesn’t have a life of his own. He’s the sidekick on the TV show of someone else’s life.

onemorepage on October 29, 2014 at 10:58 pm

The religion of my childhood was only helpful to me as an adult in that it gave me moral boundaries-no cheating, no stealing, be nice, etc. But I also learned to set aside childish things as an adult, so I set aside a religion that said that I should stay with an abusive spouse. The religion let me down in that way. The spouse let me down by being abusive, not working, and literally stealing the rent and grocery money from me so he could drink. Thus, I only have faith in myself.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 9:04 pm

Can hardly express the let-down, the uncertainty, the self-doubt that comes about because another we thought we knew or could trust/rely on proved to be two-faced, shallow & self-centered. Nothing can ever prepare you for this! It hits like a cold, wet slap upside your face with the most deeply-felt ache in the pit of your gut, causing a wrenching pain that makes you retch until your energy wanes…over and over and over until one day you forgive yourself for making the choice and realize you could not have known!

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 8:13 pm

Disillusionment is a part of life, really. Without it we would probably never “move on” and grow. Besides most disillusionment is caused by our own unrealistic expectations (illusion?). In my life, it’s forced me to see truth and grow up!!

CDH on October 29, 2014 at 8:12 pm

My faith in God has never let me down. My family has, but they are only human, and as such my faith in them hasn’t let me down, only they have…but I have let them down as well, more times than I care to admit. Bu that’s ok. We are only human.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 8:03 pm

” It is always darkest before the dawn.” Sometimes people that you think are your friends, aren’t really.
You find out too late that what you thought you saw in them was really a smoke screen to make you like them. Sometimes God is silent. You pray and you pray and you don’t receive the answer you want. Yes, there is disillusionment in life, because sometimes we expect too much. You just have to accept the outcome and move one. God does not give you what you want, he gives you what you need. If you just be happy with what you have and not expect too much–you won’t be disillusioned for long. There is a God out there and there are good people too!

J on October 29, 2014 at 7:56 pm

I put what little faith I have in hope. Despite that it has almost always lets me down. The truth is I don’t want to keep fighting for another day, but it seems that no matter how hard I don’t want it hope is always there. It doesn’t seem to be a conscious effort on my part to keep moving, but it happens.

me on October 29, 2014 at 7:18 pm

Believing in something that in truth is not correct.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:57 pm

By not being there when you really really need them and by always always always needing from me. There is no give and take its all take

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:18 pm

Every night I pray to God to die in my sleep.

I’m not sure how to interpret the fact that I’m still here.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:13 pm

Holly FUCK this site is amazing! I’m disillusioned in all other confession sites.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:57 pm

Faith and religious upbringing made my wife deny her nature. Until we agreed she was a lesbian and got a divorce.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:41 pm

My faith in my God has never let me down. Now….faith in others has let me down over and over and over again. I have been taken advantage of, lied to, cheated, abused, heart broken, abandoned and ignored so many times in my life that it has left me very cynical of the human race.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:28 pm

My step-dad became so obsessed with religion, he chose it over his family…tore us apart…’nuff said.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:12 pm

My faith in God has been tested by things happening that I know He could prevent, but I do not consider that me being let down by him. As for being let down by those I loved, yes, I have been.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 4:38 pm

I’ve been let down my entire life, not just by loved ones but by teachers, classmates, co-workers, complete strangers. Everyone will let you down, you will even let yourself down. It’s hard to deal with, it’s hard to bring yourself back from, but eventually you have to, or misery will swallow you whole. It’s not an easy thing to do, it’s not as simple as saying “Okay, it happened, get over it and move on.” It’s a long and arduous process, and it may not seem like it was worth it for a long time, but eventually you’ll wake up one day and something will make it worth it to get out of bed again and try to face the world one more time.

At least, that’s the hope.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 3:27 pm

There is no higher power, we as people make our own decisions and shape how out lives turn out

Soda Pop on October 29, 2014 at 2:51 pm

I would like to say that I am so faithful that I am never disillusioned. That is not the case. I struggle. I am naive. I would like to believe in the good of others always. I have been told many times that I am naive. Sometimes I am. Sometimes it hurts. And that is my choice. But when I come around I know that it is my faith which helps recover. I must continue to believe that others are learning and I am learning and that we all are different and that because of that we get to learn and understand more. Sometimes that is hard but Heavenly Father loves each of us and we are each at our own place of understanding.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 2:30 pm

When the way I dressed was “going to lead me to hell” but the man beating his wife could find forgiveness if he repented. That’s when. When I saw religion as a social sham. I turned then to a more honest sort of faith, when defending your loved ones and b in generally a kind tolerant person is worth more than what circle you belong to.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 2:24 pm

When I was about 9 or 10 years old I was going to the church I attended with my parents and I believed in Christianity. I liked the Sunday school lessons I was learning and felt very good about being surrounded by grown ups who thought the same way. But I overheard a couple of adults talking with our pastor one day saying how concerned they were about more people of other colors and national origins becoming members of our church. I thought our pastor would scold them for thinking that way but he agreed with them completely and glumly remarked that there was really nothing any of “us” could do to prevent them from coming and that we would just have to endure “them”. I left the church that day. Fortunately, that path led me to find my own beliefs about doing right because it is the right thing to do, not because someone tells you you must or suffer the consequences.

María Fernanda on October 29, 2014 at 2:12 pm

I fall in love in 1999 with a boy that likes Ramones band same of me.We hve an only chid,my loved daughter Merlina.Since she was born,he mutted in other person that I was in love…he was very jeaulous and he began to insuts me and hit me all day…the last year he leave my home and now I try to start a new life with my daughter.Perdon for my english,I´m from Buenos Aires,Argentina.I speak spanish.Now he is with other woman and he continues persecuitting me all the time,saying he loves me but he is mad…I believe that same day,I will get up and go to his house and kill him.I hope it never happans…

Eleanor on October 29, 2014 at 2:11 pm

Disillusionment with someone must be fleeting. They are only human too. Yes, they have disappointed but don’t withdraw your love and support.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 1:47 pm

It’s all about expectations. Family members are human-we will all do things that disappoint at some time in our lives. As parents we raise our children in a manner that outlines those expectations, and encourage them to live in a manner that will not go outside those boundaries, but it can happen. That’s when you need to step up harder to forgive, support and move on. I believe that God is our father, and handles our mistakes in much the same way.

Lara on October 29, 2014 at 1:10 pm

I have no faith. Thus, I am disillusioned with life all of the time. I had no idea that life would be this heartbreaking and this hard. There are good times and joy, but there is also a lot of sadness.

EJvS on October 29, 2014 at 12:48 pm

I always assumed that my brother was rational and sane. Instead he turned out to have become so blinded by his faith in his own infallability that he assumes for every self-inflicted avarice the malice of those around him. He has lost all of his friends and rejected all of his family.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 12:40 pm

I was fortunate enough to have some good friends force Richard Bach’s “Illusions” on me as a sophomore in college. It definitely changed me the same way it had them, and it remains one of the handful of books and ideas that helped form my current worldview. It also tied in nicely with what I was learning and appreciating at the time about the Eastern religions and philosophies.That said, disillusion remains inevitable, and while knowing about or believing in the Illusion that life can be can lessen its impact, it can still – no matter what age – be shattering. The two biggest examples of that in my are when my marriage of close to 20 years came to an end, when what I thought I understood about Love was completely blown apart, and when I met someone years after that whom I was sure was the One, and it turned out that was not the case. What do you do when you feel you’ve found your soulmate, but they disagree?

Honey on October 29, 2014 at 11:56 am

I believe that I grew up disillusioned in many ways. I grew up believing that I would meet someone who I would spend my whole life with…turned out to be a complete lie. I grew up believing that if you were a person of good integrity and high morals good things would come your way…not true either. I grew up believing addiction had something to do with alcohol or drugs….not true. As an adult I have learned that life is an illusion and we are all delusional in one way or another. We are so wrapped up in trying to be what we think our life should be its easier to stay disillusioned instead of shedding the kaleidoscope glasses and being who we truly are. At 42 I strive everyday to see clearly through the fog of disillusionment and see the real world. Thanks to Mr. King there is no horror real or imaginary that I can’t face and overcome.

Rosane on October 29, 2014 at 11:52 am

This are two kinds of faith. My faith in a higher power fades when I see how bad the world keep going. And in my loved ones, is when they don’t trust me enough.

Amethyst on October 29, 2014 at 11:50 am

I’m not one to follow along blindly; and I do believe in finding a balance in life; therefore I rarely find myself thinking of being disillusioned. I live a more practical, reality based life and am my own best advocate. Have I been let down by loved ones? Sure, when someone says they are going to do something they don’t do, it can be a let down/annoyance…but for me, not disillusion. I try to go into situations with my eyes open, and try to know what a person or situation can/cannot offer, maintain a balance and see things through.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 11:48 am

In any religion, when something bad or unexpected happens to you, people tend to turn and blame their deity. This is simply trying to place blame where it doesn’t belong. If you believe in a god, then you’ll eventually come to the conclusion that you became a better person because of how you were supposedly “let down,” or you’ll stop believing in your deity. If you do not believe in a god, then you’ll blame the world and move on.

As for loved ones, in my personal experience the people I love, outside of my immediate family, have always disappointed me in one way or another. Long story short, ultimately I’ve stopped believing that people can care about me to the extent that I care about them and so I am losing my faith in the idea of love as a whole, since I seem to be the only one buying into the idea.

Joe Seer on October 29, 2014 at 11:04 am

This one is a little bit more complicated for me. I am not one to be or become disillusioned. I take life as it comes without too much stress or without making it more complicated than it needs to be. Day in and day out, one day at a time. Life is relatively simple for me (so to speak). The main disillusionment that I come across is why do we (people) repeat the same mistakes over and over again. Why don’t we learn more from others, why do we see the need to judge others (who has the worst sin or is the bigger sinner, etc.); or compare ourselves to others. That is where I find myself disillusioned the most.

Miche on October 29, 2014 at 10:45 am

I’ve recently realized that every member of my small support system is so consumed with their own dramas/denials that the only person who truly listens to me is someone to whom I pay a medical copay once a month. Overcoming my personal trials/addictions and becoming a relatively balanced, mature person, has destroyed (albeit dysfunctional) relationships with family members who were supposed to accept me as I am, but chose their world of denial over a relationship with me. I have felt the pain of physical isolation, and it is soul-wrenching. But being surrounded by “loved ones” and knowing, that when my crisis happens, the only person that I can truly rely on is myself, well, that’s the most devastating epiphany I’ve had so far in my life.

Andy on October 29, 2014 at 10:32 am

I have never been let down by my faith in God or in my loved ones. Any disillusion or let downs that I’ve experienced have been of my own making and due to the fact that I’m both human and flawed. Rough roads and tragedies suck, there’s no doubt, but, right or wrong, I choose how to deal with them. When I’ve taken the wrong path both God and my loved ones have walked it with me and have been there to pick me up when I don’t think I can go any further and get me pointed in the right direction.

John on October 29, 2014 at 9:59 am

My faith in God was broken when at fifteen my Father died of a heart attack in the woods right in front of me. He was loved and respected, coached children and had so many friends that the line for his viewings stretched down the street three nights in a row. God takes him, and leaves me with out a Father, but baby killers and stupid politicians live on to screw up humanity.

CdK on October 29, 2014 at 9:52 am

Faith (in others or in higher power) can’t let you down.
is the point of the fate thing, ins’t it?
Disillusion come in when you base all on hoping something happen, but don’t work a minute to make it happen (or at least to help a bit probabilities)

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 9:52 am

My mother always told me never to put anyone on a pedestal – because they will always fall off. Wise words but sadly I couldn’t trust her either. Trust yourself and nobody else.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 9:51 am

Banking your entire existence on an entity that you’ve never legitimately seen or heard from is a set up for disaster from the start. Faith will be tested, absolutely, but in a world that is ever progressing towards reason rather than superstition disillusionment is bound to happen. God shot himself in the foot declaring himself all powerful and omnipotent. Now he just looks like a jerk that won’t use his powers to help his precious sheep.

Needless to say, relying on anyone to carry you and your burdens forever tends to end in disillusion. The loved one is only human and God isn’t answering.

holly on October 29, 2014 at 9:39 am

my faith has neverbeen tested to the point that I became disillusioned.to become disillusioned with faith and lifewould take all the fun out of it.

suzeeqew on October 29, 2014 at 9:29 am

God has never let me down.ever.i trust him,no matter what. to handle it all…but about my loved ones? people do make mistakes.you expect others to treat you with the same kind of love and compassion and kindness that you bestow on them.so when they betray you in any way,whether an angry act or an angry word,it takes you by surprise.and saddens your soul.and breaks a trust…

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 9:19 am

My faith has been tested when I have bipolar episodes. When that dark side comes out, I lash out verbally and emotionally at whoever is within reach. I really haven’t been let down by my loved ones. They’ve disappointed me, but usually the reason or larger picture puts things in perspective.

truewonder on October 29, 2014 at 9:00 am

Like a rock thrown into the deepest well, down, down, down…because I had allowed another to secure in me, a faith of paper and doctrine, of fear and oppression. It was I then, truly~ who let myself down- believing fervently in the gospels of victors and man when I should have trusted best, the very flame instilled that cannot be disillusioned or diminished.

Anon on October 29, 2014 at 8:50 am

Disillusion is a word that was created to describe what happens when you mix Faith with anything negative. You have Faith, you put it in a made up higher power and either nothing happens or something positive does happen and you become disillusioned. Your disillusionment has caused you to believe that the positive outcome was a result of your Faith in said higher power. It’s all in your head. Your heart is connected to your brain (not your muscle heart, your “feeling” heart) so that’s why you think your “heart” feels the good things that “Faith” has brought to you. If you didn’t have Faith, the same things would happen, good or bad, you just wouldn’t be Disillusioned.

One-Eyed Jack on October 29, 2014 at 8:15 am

Disillusion comes to all. For any reason. The belief that there is one faith in some power will prevent you from being let down is narrow-minded, believing that tragedy can be avoided because of faith is, I’m sorry if this offends any of you, far too desperate and childish. We can’t avoid disillusion because of faith, disillusion and tragedy come to us all, no exceptions.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 7:44 am

Believing in humans is a disillusion ! God is not an disillusion He has carried me through alot of disillusions.

Writer Z on October 29, 2014 at 7:19 am

The important thing to remember is that we’re all human. And being human means that we belong to a species that is imperfect. Of course we’re going to be let down by others, just as others will let us down. But we do have a great gift: the ability to feel, and to extend, empathy. And that’s everything.

Sometimes, I feel anger at this Higher Power (for wont of a more adequate term). But I think that’s part of living. For anything to be of true worth, there must be something in the way of a challenge. If attained with too great a degree of facility, you tend not to appreciate it as much.

So, yes: you will be let down by those you love. When this happens, you are left with a choice: forgiveness or banishment. Sometimes it happens that those who have let you down feel remorse at having exhibited such behavior. Just as sometimes it happens that those who profess remorse do so only to let you down again… and again… and again. With the latter, you have to make a conscious choice: Do I allow this person to remain a part of my life, knowing that he or she will doubtless let me down again? Or attempt to hurt me? If so, you have to take some of the responsibility. Or you can say, “No more. I will not have this person in my life any longer.” It’s about truth and self-preservation meaning more than how others think of your decision.

But being let down is part of life. The good thing about it is that others (including yourself) can raise you up.

Jan on October 29, 2014 at 7:17 am

Well, as far as a higher power, I don’t have faith, I have absolute belief. I believe that we don’t know everything, but that there’s something there. We’re not allowed to know everything or else our brains may implode, so I let the world spin and allow others to sweat out the debate. But as far as friends and loved ones, and those pesky unprovoked enemies (people we once believed in) that all surface at some point in our lives, letting others down is what humans do. True fact. So I actually have no faith there, since I do believe that people can and do change for the worse. I guess you could then say that I am faithless! Well, maybe. This is a subject for deep thought, for me anyway…my former mooncalf mind must ruminate and decide whether I am spouting BS or if I really have evolved…

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:56 am

I had faith in my husband to care for our children and I, and to put us first. His illness came first, leading to suicide.

I had faith in a Higher Power, be it my deceased husband and mother or some other force, to influence something for all of the pain my children and I have suffered to not be in vain.

Every day, years and years later, continues to be a struggle where my children continue to be disappointed, to be deprived, to suffer not just the loss of a parent to death but the loss of the other to work and the inability to be there for them, and a complete upheaval of life as they knew it in every way.

Nothing is as painful as watching those you love suffer.

I no longer have faith in anything but my own ability to work my ass off, even though it will never be enough.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:16 am

It hasn’t, as a young person or a new graduate nurse I thought it had however. But sometimes when you get through pain or see enough of it you realize there is more to something than you first believed. I often wondered as a young adult why good people had to suffer. Then again as a
Daughter who lost both parents to cancer, as a nurse who lost wonderful people to horrible diseases, and as a mother who watched her daughter grieve over her best friend at 15. But looking back everyone of those incidents have changed people around me. Through the cancer my once distant siblings became closer , patients families were often brought together and some back from the brink of addiction , my daughter has became a strong young woman and so has most of her classmates who lost their friend.

anon on October 29, 2014 at 6:11 am

I have never knowingly set out to harm or cheat another person because I think it’s wrong to do that however, I have been cheated by people who I have done my utmost to help and this has led to disillusionment with the human condition to a large degree but it will never stop me from trying to help others.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 6:01 am

Being disillusioned is the realisation of ignorance; Self mental survival by allowing an external comfort to be your safety net.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:35 am

I have faith in fairness – even in the midst of an argument, I ‘fight fair’. Too bad my mother’s words, ‘life’s not fair’ have never registered with me. Neither have ‘do as I say, not as I do’. I expect to be treated as I treat others in my life; no one lives up to my ideals. Therefore, I’m always let down. Yet I see no reason I should live ‘down’ to their level of hypocrisy, mistreatment, etc. I will always behave better, they apparently will always behave more poorly.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 5:25 am

I have never been a devout anything but surely a true believer would feel that their God was doing it for a reason?

Elsa Mars on October 29, 2014 at 5:18 am

Thinking about it, I realize that I never really had faith in anything or anyone that I couldn’t “control”.
As a child, I had faith in the future but maybe it was just hope because I guessed that as a grown-up I would be able to control much more things and that I would be able to decide how to live my life.
Of course I was wrong, I have come to realize that but I still have a lot of trouble to get out of my own thoughts. My mind’s a prison somehow and the reason why it is, is that I don’t have faith in others.
When I was 5, my mum’s boyfriend slapped her and he wore a ring, so he unfortunately hit the arch of her eyebrows, there was blood pretty much everywhere, and I felt scared.
For her. I mean since that moment I felt like I had to protect her because obviously she wasn’t able to take care of herself.
A couple of days later, boyfriend came back to our appartment and it was like nothing ever happened.
I think that exact moment, seeing him walk through the door and my mum smiling, could be labelled disillusion.
I think I got hit way stronger that my mum had been, for I understood that adults were fucked-up and that they weren’t to be trusted.

Ori on October 29, 2014 at 4:29 am

I never was a strong christian believer. My parents gave me education and choices to believe by myself. So I entered churches, respected the others who believed and allow myself to believe a little in God.
My cousin was a messy child and grow a messy teenager, not good at school, having a lot of girlfriends… No one ever believed he’ll make something of his life. Then he chooses to became a baker and worked hard for this. He became a very good baker, respected. He accidentally have a child. He transformed and became a good father. I admired him. He had bought his own bakery when he died in a car accident, a stupid car accident.
It was such a horrible tragedy that I cannot believe in God anymore. Maybe it was a way to find a culprit but I never entered a church anymore and I don’t want to hear about religion anymore. Desillusion of life…

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 4:24 am

Back to Faithish.
I think we feel we have to put the blame onto someone/something for everything that happens to us. We don’t just accept shut happens

DH on October 29, 2014 at 4:16 am

I watched my mother’s 21 year battle with dementia. She lost. And I lost all belief in the illusion of god.

Michael on October 29, 2014 at 4:12 am

I like this one – it is a one constant in my life – I expect too much being an optimist (albeit an existential nihilist…) so I reset myself every night and prepare to face the next day with fresh optimism, only to be refueled with disillusionment by the end of the say – Rolandesque style…

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 4:00 am

You can’t choose your family.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 3:35 am

It was always going to get better in the very next phase of life. High school would take care of all those elementary school problems. No, high school is for losers. COLLEGE is the place — no one hates smart girls in college. (Maybe not, but poor, ugly girls aren’t exactly sought after.) Don’t worry about that; they’re snobs. You’ll meet someone in your twenties. The twenties are a waste — thirty is the new twenty these days. So of course, the thirties are just for kicks. Now that you’re in your forties… what do you mean, it’s too late?

Truth: It never gets better. It doesn’t matter if you stay out of trouble. I did. And I watched the people who were royal screw-ups get chance after chance, and now they’re happy in lives full of the children I always wanted… only no one ever loved me, so, no dice. It just keeps getting worse. If you don’t fit in, you never will.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 3:01 am

I didn’t think the higher power (or God) would take my only remaining child.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 3:01 am

I had things I wished to do in life, but I allowed my family to stop me. I believed them when they said I wasn’t smart. That I couldn’t do certain jobs because of who I was. I allowed them to bully me into things I didn’t think, or feel I should have to do, but mostly, I let them get away with making me feel unloved and useless. It allowed others to treat me the same way they saw my family treat me, so I became an outcast. I feel let down. By life. By people. By family. By my failed attempt at living and because I’m just waiting for my clock to wind down and release me.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 2:48 am

I know stories are a tool, used for teaching, warning, entertaining. But I love to LIVE these stories. (In truth I am glad to just read most of Mr. King’s tales. I am 46 and still have nightmares of blood in the sink and Pennywise under the porch.) In the stories there are the good “guys”, the ones who make the tough choices and are generous in spirit and/or action. And they reap the rewards. Love conquers all, charity is the most powerful aspect of spirit, knowledge is power but wisdom is understanding how to use it to accomplish good works. These are the lessons. I am not a religious person unless you could count my faith in a good story. Unfortunately, Life, at least my life, is not like that… or I am not the good gal I think I am.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 2:00 am

“all I ever wanted comes at a price”
“I can’t hold on to anything this good enough”
As the Voodoo girl herself, the two quotes sums it up pretty well for me

H. on October 29, 2014 at 1:48 am

I think disillusionment is a much stronger concept when it is about oneself than others. It is a key to self-progress or self-destruction (which are actually just two sides of a coin). I’ll have to agree with Axl Rose when it comes to disillusion; “Lose your illusions.”

Michelle B. on October 29, 2014 at 1:44 am

I’ll take it on my relatives side…
i have experienced desilution because i noticed that i cannot trust them and i’ve learned that i have all kinds of people, living under the same roof or within my family, that have betrayed my trust and that are more than willing to do anything to mentally destroy me to the point of hurting myself or swallow my tears. I’ve been hurt more within my home than i’ve been outside. This is where it all comes from.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 1:28 am

Ah.. the death of innocence. There is no way that God can ‘let someone down’. A person might believe that but it isn’t so. They could lose a loved one as I have several times but you see that goes back to faith and Your will be done. Not my will. God’s will. People let you down. Of course they do. They do so without even knowing it. The most yes person in the world at some point is going to gather some will power and just say no. We let each other down constantly. I thank God for unanswered prayers. He knows what is best for us. Maybe not what we think is best but what our soul needs.
I had a Tennessee Walker my Daddy gave me when I was eleven years old. That horse towered over me. I even had an English side saddle that I used once and then refused to use again… no way…I would tap her front legs and then her back legs and she would stretch out until she was low enough for me to mount her. I loved Panola . She was a lady. She pranced with her long high legs and when we flew across the fields it felt like I was on a cloud. I didn’t mean to but I misused her. My Daddy caught me coming back from a ride and she was lathered and out of breath. He said that I would kill her riding her like that. She had a colt. I named him Thunder. He was pure black, not a speck of white, and so beautiful. He was going to be my show horse. But I wasn’t allowed to ride him because he wasn’t old enough. The vet came out to give the horses shots and Thunder jumped the fence and broke his neck. I was devastated. Daddy knew that I was not going to ‘let up’ on Panola. He said I was too rough on her so he bought me a ‘greenbroke’ horse I named Little Jack that was wild and he was my soulmate. We went flying over the leevee and I won races with him not because he was a quarter horse but because he had heart. My foot got caught in the stirrup once and he dragged me down a gravel road bouncing like a ball. He would try to rub me off of his back using trees fences or anything he could but he couldn’t get rid of me. And then came the time when I could just walk out to the pasture and he would come running to me. He wouldn’t come to anyone else nor would he allow anyone else to ride him. I had total faith in my Daddy. He knew me better than I knew myself. Everything he told me was true. Everything. What I needed to be me he provided because he knew me so well. He would bring me little baby raccoons or squirrels and I would tend them and keep them for pets. I had so very much but I didn’t know I had so much because the kids in town always had the newest clothes at school or visited each other and I lived four miles from town. I was the only kid who rode a horse up on the leevee to town when no one I knew except one friend that lived a long way from me rode horses. They rode bikes. And yes I did too but I would rather ride my horse. One day he sat me down and told me that I would always be his child but that he was my uncle. His brother was my father by birth. All that I thought I knew was me taking everything for granted. Everyone knew this. The family and the people in town. When I grew up and he was dying I prayed for God to let him get well. He smiled at me and said, “No baby, I am going home.” Did he let me down? No. Not really. He knew me well.

Lilith on October 29, 2014 at 12:24 am

Betrayal.

Anonymous on October 29, 2014 at 12:21 am

Disillusions are great on drug have fun with them just don’t get caught

sara cicek on October 29, 2014 at 12:19 am

Some truth is hidden there you see disillusion hides the truth inside people just confuse with the outside when they get pushed to hard

A on October 29, 2014 at 12:07 am

My Dad died in a car accident when I was six. For years I would beg and plead with God to let let see him one last time, to let me talk to him, to give me a sign that he was still with me… something… anything.

Then one night I tried to sell my soul to the devil instead.

kathleen on October 29, 2014 at 12:02 am

I used to believe in God and knew ever passage in the bible and what it said. Then i started seeing how most people of faith treated others who were different plus i started thinking logically about what it said in the bible about Adam and Eve being the only people on earth, the virgin birth and all the other things and realized how impossible it all is. I don’t care what color someone is or if they are gay or not. I only care how they treat me. I don’t judge a person for what they do as long as it is adults doing it and they don’t hurt children. Most Christian people i have run into judge others for everything and have even judged me for being an Atheist when they find out. I think we are all human beings and should be treated that way no matter what.

CB on October 28, 2014 at 11:46 pm

I was in a miserable marriage for almost 18 years to a person who–ultimately–was an abusive alcoholic, a person who–even when sober–was a rude, selfish, awful person. But…I was a christian! I wanted to be the Proverbs 31 woman! I prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed, and sought counsel and sought counsel and sought counsel, and wept and read my bible and read christian books, and submitted and asked for outside help…….exhausted yet? I was.

It was only after I extricated myself from that destructive set of beliefs that I was able to extricate myself from that destructive marriage. After I HELPED MYSELF, several christian “friends” expressed their disappointment in my choices and offered lots of pious armchair quarterbacking about how I should have proceeded. Fuck them all. I have been extremely happy for the past 20 years, no regrets.

kal on October 28, 2014 at 11:35 pm

I was once told “Keep your expectations low and you will never be disappointed” and still..I was disappointed. That’s a tragedy, too.

Disillusion on October 28, 2014 at 11:26 pm

I’ve never had much faith in higher powers or other people. So, when surprises come, they are usually good. I don’t think disillusionment is a bad thing, though. It means that you face reality and learn to move forward without illusions misleading you. It might be painful, but it’s a valuable experience.

Peter S. on October 28, 2014 at 11:18 pm

I’m disappointed by the world around me, that told me to work hard. Do the right thing and you will be rewarded. What a load of crap, I’ve been screwed over, lied to, cheated. And then expected to carry on, keep forging ahead your day will come. Those in control will do whatever to keep you down, and maintain their control. The ability to achieve all you can be, is reserved for the privileged few.

Christina on October 28, 2014 at 11:03 pm

I once sought God day and night for 90 days through prayer, worship, and bible reading. I called out to him, and no one answered. What did become clear was just how horrible the god of the bible really was. After that I decided that it didn’t matter if he was real or not. I wouldn’t follow that god-the one depicted in the bible. I quit looking for any god, but I’ve been very peaceful and happy ever since.

Kat on October 28, 2014 at 10:45 pm

They die.

Dan on October 28, 2014 at 10:44 pm

By being greater than that power or person, yet not strong enough to stand alone.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:41 pm

Disillusionment comes from expecting human beings to be perfect when they are incapable of perfection and for life to be a utopian dream when you are living in a world of reality. Hard times come and they pass. Life is beautiful but it can be hard. Live for and enjoy the wonderful times.

Bob on October 28, 2014 at 10:32 pm

Luckily, no. Seriously.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:30 pm

I took in my half-niece when she was 13 yrs old, although I’d never had children before. She became everything to me, and we had an amazing relationship. Over the years I considered her to be the daughter I’d never have.

When she turned 20, and living with me while going to college, she apparently had her first psychotic break and drowned/mutilated my 15 year old cat. And in her new psychotic state, had also planned to kill me.

Words can’t describe how disillusioned I became. And still am.

And yes, during the PTSD I endured as I sent her far away for help, I did give away some of my first edition King books… Pet Sematary included.

Star on October 28, 2014 at 10:26 pm

I can look at you and see that when you look at me you don’t see what I see.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:25 pm

My loved ones are a collection of selfish, hateful people that have used me to the point of my wanting to just give up and kill myself. I have been abused by parents that wanted to have a “family” but the chores that went into that “family” were just too much for them to deal with. An insane and sick Mother who sold me to a pedophile, a Father who put his head in the sand and pretended it could not have happened. Brothers who have nearly killed me. I figured out early on, if I needed to protect myself, I had to do what was necessary, no matter what that entailed. Intimate relations, were for that moment of pleasure, whether mine or theirs, I rarely really cared, because I knew it really did not matter, if this one did not work out, another would come along eventually. I have been the doormat of the people in my life, and I know down to my core, if I stop existing not a single one of them would be more than temporarily discomfited. No matter how much I care, it is never enough, my suffering seems to be the end product and the means to their ends. Let me down, I look up from the bottom.

trish on October 28, 2014 at 10:22 pm

Right now my life is undergoing a crisis because my loved one(husband) has decided that our relationship is not all that important-I thought I could always trust him to love me and be there for me and now after 20+ years I may be starting a new life without him.

Jane on October 28, 2014 at 10:21 pm

I’m a cynic and don’t place a whole lot of faith in anyone, much less a higher power. I think people are who they are. Putting too much faith in anyone or anything just leads to disappointment. I only rely on others when it’s absolutely necessary. And even when I rely on others, I always have a backup plan in mind.

Because faith in others? That’s a good way to find yourself in a bad situation.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:20 pm

No faith in a higher power to speak of. As for loved ones, yes, they let me down regularly.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:01 pm

When people say they turned their back on their faith because their God let a loved one die, I think it’s selfish. If you believe in God, how do you possibly believe that he would consider you the one person in existence for which he would bend his will. It seems an hypocritical idea.
I believed when my grandmother passed, that I would receive some sort of “message” from her from the “other side.” It wasn’t I started waiting for a sign that I realized there would never be one. I see other people interpreting all type of minutiae as “signs.” If it helps them get by I suppose it’s alright, but I only see the logic behind it.
I have sometimes been let down by my faith in my loved ones. It made me convert to believing that if you have no expectations, you can’t be let down. It may sound severe, but it serves me well.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:01 pm

Is it my Faith that let me down? Or is it myself?

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 9:50 pm

The higher power or my loved ones have not let me down. For the longest time I believed that some had, or God had, or conditions had. Then I realized I had really just let myself down and was looking for a scapegoat. It begins and ends with you.

Catheine on October 28, 2014 at 9:47 pm

I do not believe my higher power has let me down. He/she is somewhere watching out for me, but it is ultimately my responsibility to make my life better through action and not waiting around for someone to save me. My relatives have let me down, but they are only human with faults, insecurities, and shortcomings just like me.

Sue on October 28, 2014 at 9:44 pm

When my strong, God-loving Daddy was debilitated by and eventually succumbed to the resulting damage of Parkinson’s Disease, I turned my back on God. I was disillusioned that this God, this Heavenly Father, could do such a thing to this man who was so faithful to Him. However, what I came to realize is that if it were easy, everyone would do it; if loving God and believing were a cake walk, nobody would have a problem with it. I also realized that because of my Daddy’s faith, in order to truly respect him and show my love for him, I had to find my love for Him again.

sevn7 on October 28, 2014 at 9:33 pm

As I have aged I have seen small children die of cancer… see people on TV wiped out buried in ditches…how can there be a God….I see religious people talk about how there is a higher power we just don’t see the big picture….but the poor and innocent still die…if there is a God he is a bastard

Annie on October 28, 2014 at 9:17 pm

I watched my Mother die horribly after spending her whole life striving to do the right thing. No one came to save her from pain. No matter how hard we prayed. I have never returned to Church. His eye may be on the sparrow, he dropped the ball with her and me.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 9:11 pm

I was pregnant at 18. My mother told me at that time about how my parents got married when I was a year old because at the time my father was married to someone else. The story had always been that he was divorced, then they got married then I was born. When I told my father that I was going to have a baby, he gave me options. Adoptions and abortion. It was 1973 and had just become legal. It was then that I realized that, had it been legal in 1955, I wouldn’t be here. That is disillusionment! I never believed another thing they told me. That baby I had in 1974 is a teacher now. I won!!

Steven Felix on October 28, 2014 at 9:08 pm

I became disillusioned way back in Sunday school. I had questions and the teacher wasn’t able to answer them. I guess I wasn’t a good little boy who sat and listened and believed what the adult said. I clearly remember her being exasperated. I wanted to know all about Noah’s ark and the animals. I grew up on a farm and knew how big two cows were and even at 5 or 6 I knew Elephants were a lot bigger and that there were millions of animals in the world. She finally made me sit in the corner and I was not invited back. (I guess she must have told my parents I was disruptive.) If the Noah’s Ark story was not real, how could any of it be?

Ellen on October 28, 2014 at 9:01 pm

Hmm, disillumination to be is akin to lies and deception. It can be assumed that we are experience disillusion many times throughout our lifes. I guess it just depends on how you deal with it!

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:58 pm

delusion – am I drowning

Rachey on October 28, 2014 at 8:55 pm

My grandmother was a religious woman. She went to church regularly, evening healing masses when she became sick. Not the type where they hit you in the head and you’re healed, but where everyone prays for you to get well. But in the end, you can’t fight your body. She spent six weeks in the hospital fighting C. Diff, and eventually died of diarrhea. Isn’t that messed up? I got to see her the last couple days even though she was in a different state. She had called me to tell me she had made her final decision, because they wanted to give her a colostomy bag and she refused it. We always had a strong connection, and losing her was heartbreaking beyond words. And afterwards, when my aunt said she could “feel her all around” and my dad was having dreams about seeing her and saying a final goodbye, I felt nothing. NOTHING. And I just realized, that there isn’t more out there. We’re computers and we shut down eventually. I wish I could believe in something different. I don’t know how to tell my kids I believe what I do… because when I die I don’t want them to feel the same way.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:54 pm

Fuck you. I gave my answer, and your stupid bot bounced it for me being ‘too quick’. I missed my dad. He suffered and God didn’t seem to be there when he needed it. I still wonder why. End of story.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:52 pm

Mayhap it’s my fault for expecting more, but people always seem to let me down. Bitches.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:45 pm

I don’t have a faith in a higher power so that hasn’t let me down.

In loved ones – I was married to an abuser, he let me down. I had a long-term relationship with a man who turned out to be a creep – I guess he let me down because he wasn’t cool. My sister – she turned out to be a royal bitch who took my mom’s place when my mom died – that was disappointing.

How – is really irrelevant. It matters to me where it might not matter to others.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:44 pm

Family/loved ones are the ones who have broken my faith, my heart, and my spirit.

Peanut on October 28, 2014 at 8:31 pm

Disillusion is the best way to describe people these days. Nothin is ever what it really is!!

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:20 pm

I’m finding out now the friends I thought I had, did not feel the same way as I did. I wish I was able to mind-read to know the innermost thoughts from the start. Then again, if I really could read minds, I’d never speak to anyone ever again.

Autumntide on October 28, 2014 at 8:20 pm

Life is hard and sometimes it’s difficult to breathe from myriad kinds of pain. Where it’s kind of like a 12 step program where I tell myself that I can stand it another minute, another hour, another night. When the darkness just keeps swirling around and there is no friendliness (or so it seems) in one’s own universe. It’s not so much that I feel like the Divine is somewhere else, it’s just it’s hard when I feel lost. Takes a whole lot of gumption to go forward. Reach out and count my blessings and keep my Faith going in this crazy-quilt of the human condition.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:18 pm

I’ve recently been severely disillusioned by some of my Church friends. I don’t even know how to process the magnitude of the betrayal they have subjected me to. From a job loss orchestrated behind the scenes by some church leaders and abandonment by these friends now that I am no longer going to church, and the true feelings of others coming out concerning my past, I feel like I have no place to turn for support.

BB on October 28, 2014 at 8:16 pm

I don’t really believe in a higher power….as far as being disillusioned at times, sure who hasn’t… but I am the only one in control of my emotions, so I can choose to be disillusioned & feel let down or I can chalk it up to a learning experience & move on. (sometimes that’s easier said than done)

Dawn on October 28, 2014 at 8:07 pm

Family, as sad as this may sound, have always been the ones to let me down. I was pretty much raised by my grandmother. She was a wonderful woman. I know this is crazy, but when she passed away I felt so let down, like she had deserted me on purpose. She was the only solid thing in my life. Crazy right. I guess I just needed her so much and still do

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:04 pm

Nope

Dawn on October 28, 2014 at 8:03 pm

Human beings are the most disappointing creatures

Virginie on October 28, 2014 at 7:58 pm

My faith in my biological parents has let me down when they abused me.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 7:58 pm

Disillusionment is purely a reaction to expectation. Expect nothing and there is no disillusionment. How can Faith let you down? If belief in a higher being is dependent upon things going your way all the time and when it doesn’t you are disillusioned then we really are very shallow little beings aren’t we.

Neo-Pagan on October 28, 2014 at 7:55 pm

I automatically trust everyone. Sometimes people make hurtful choices. It hurts when I don’t see that coming.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 7:49 pm

Aw! I love this one, that is my middle name. wtf I want some do overs…..

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 7:37 pm

I’ve never believed in a god. I’ve never seen the point in putting energy into something that I can’t see or feel or understand. I find it easier to put faith in loved ones, even though they frequently let me down. At least the disappointments are understandable and I have the power to choose how much or little it affects me. How can someone possibly expect me to put all I have into a god or higher power that doesn’t have to answer for it’s mistakes. Even though at times it becomes hard not to grow cold or block people out, I would much rather put faith in them than a paper god.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 7:35 pm

By expecting the worst, I’m most often surprised in a positive way. You can never really trust someone, be they friend or family, but as long as you keep expecting the worst, at least they can’t disappoint you. I’ve stopped believing the lies of “together forever”, “we’ll always be there” or even “you’re gonna be okay”.
Life gets in the way, and there is no such thing as selfless people anymore.
Take care of yourself. No one else will.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 7:29 pm

I knew someone that I thought was a really good person because of their faith. Someone died and all that person did was complain about not sitting with the family because she deserved to since she had done so much for the deceased. It like she thought life was a do good contest that didn’t count if you didn’t get recognized for doing good.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 5:49 pm

My faith in Allah has never let me down, because that’s the very definition of having complete faith, it’s the complete trust in Allah’s just and wisdom. My loved ones, however, have let me down at some instances. None very serious though, maybe because I am picky in choosing my loved ones, and apparently I choose right.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 2:07 pm

Since i never believed in a higher power it hasn’t. But loved ones…. I think humans have a tendency to see only, or mostly, the good sides in persons they really care about. That’s because it is a biased view. It is very difficult to be objective when you love someone. Therefore it is also easier to get disillusioned in these persons.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 1:25 pm

I’ve been disillusioned by love and the commitment to partnership. I made a commitment to a loved one and I thought it would be honored and respected perpetually. No matter how much either one of us f’ed up. Your closest loved ones will let you down in profound ways. The ones you really trust with your heart can damage you in ways the rest of the world just cant touch. “You only hurt the ones you love.”

#foreversingle

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 12:40 pm

When I was a little girl, I was told to “ask God and you shall receive”. That’s a very loaded statement. I never prayed for silly things like the new toy I wanted or for boys to like me. I saved it for the most important things because it seemed best not to bother God with little problems.

So when I was told my grandfather was dying of cancer, I prayed. I held my pendant with the picture of Mary on it and cried on it, hoping maybe my tears would make it work even better. I explained to God that my grandfather and I were very close, we needed him here and he shouldn’t take him quite yet. I asked him to let my grandfather live.

And then he died.

There’s nothing you can tell a little girl when something that’s been driven into her skull – “ask and you shall receive” – is proven to be utterly wrong. You can’t say “Well, God must’ve needed him more than we did,” because THAT WAS NOT THE DEAL. You told that little girl she could ask God for something and God would listen and give her what she asked for if she asked very nicely.

I was only 8 but I never prayed again after that. What’s the point? I never felt like anyone was listening anyway, just assumed that grown-ups knew what they were talking about. Now I’m grown-up myself and I know they were just as clueless as I was.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 12:24 pm

I have questioned my faith and belief in a higher power when I have been confused in life. In those times I have nothing else to do but keep on fighting for a good life.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 12:13 pm

I hate to say it. But “love at first site.” Used to believe in it. Now it just seems like total bullshit.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 10:02 am

At some point we are deceived about everything on some level.

Anonymous on October 28, 2014 at 8:13 am

…look around, despite the many good people and warm hearts, evil continues to trump…and family members have worn thin the bonds of trust and love, till they sag like a ragged ribbon…

Anonymous on October 26, 2014 at 1:54 pm

I tend to hold people to a high standard. I think everyone should have the same morals and ethics as I do and that’s just not realistic. So, when I expect so much from someone and they fail me, I can’t blame them. I have to blame myself for holding them to my code of conduct instead of appreciating them for theirs. I don’t have to agree or like it, but if they are to remain in my life, I have to accept that.

Anonymous on October 25, 2014 at 4:15 am

I used to believe in God and prayed regularly and found comfort in knowing somebody was running the show. But then lots of people I knew either got sick or were killed in accidents and I became disillusioned with my faith. When talking to (and pleading with) God didn’t help to save them or keep me safe, I stopped believing.

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